My Hidden Broken Angle

Chapter 1

Just a warning there will be talk of cutting, suicide, etc., and there will be smut so if you are triggered and or don't like any of that this story may not be for you! ok anyway I hope you enjoy:):)

Castiel POV

My whole world dark.

The darkness was surrounding me swallowing me whole, taking me in as one of its own. Just the way I wanted it. But I could hear the voices calling for me pleading for me to come back and join them in the light. I turned away from the voices trying to block them out so the darkness could take me in forever but a small part of me, The part that was still light called out to the voices telling em to go to them, Telling me to be with them once more.

Slowly I felt the darkness slipping away as the voices drew closer all the while getting louder.

My eyes opened revealing a bright white light. Quickly my eyes adjusted so I could see what was around me. My older sister Anna was on my left clutching my hand as tears streamed down her cheeks, On my right side was my younger brother Gabe holding my shoulder as his eyes began to water. "Oh Cassie youre awake!" Anna cried while sobbing, I took a quick survey of the room leading me to believe I was in a hospital, I knew why I was here and that was why I could not look my family in the eyes. "Castiel Novak you scared us half to death!" yelled my older brother Lucifer as he sat up from his position on the coach to my right.

The tears began to pour down my own face as I sobbed into my pillow that smelled of death and pain. "Cassie please dont cry we are here now". My eldest brother Michael said as he came to me. This only made me cry harder as my family comforted me.

But the reason I was crying was not because I was sorry for what I did. The reason I was crying was because I failed.

I failed to end my life

To be rid of all of my problems and pain. I failed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered into my pillow. I knew I was lying to them and it made me feel sick but I could never tell them the truth, they would be to hurt and I couldnt do that to them.

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Three hours later I was released from the hospital allowed to go home and rest. The car ride home was silent I was glad for that because I knew soon I would have to talk to Michael.

When we got home I walked straight up to my room fully aware that Michael was following me. The truth is this has happened before, I have tried to kill myself more and once but it never works. I am always saved, but I dont want to be saved. Just as I shut my door Michael opened it letting himself in and sitting on the end of my bed as I stared up at my ceiling. "Castiel we need to talk." I sighed sitting up to look at my hurt confused Brother, "Then talk Michael." He ran his fingers through his hair taking a deep breath while he looked at the floor, "Cassie I just dont understand, please just tell me why."

He looked back me with tears rimming his eyes. I just looked at him without saying a word, the tears began to fall as I just sat there staring at him. "Fine. Dont talk. I will. I know you have had a hard life but, we are here know. You have family who cares about you we love you, all of you. All of your scars and issues we love every part of you. But yet you still are not happy and I dont know why so I have made a decision. You are going to start seeing a therapist and you will be starting school. I have to push you Cassie no matter how much you hate me. I have enrolled you in a public school nearby HHS. I am no longer going to homeschool you because I feel with you only being around us your depression is becoming worse. You start school on Monday so you have the weekend to prepare yourself, And everyday after school you will see your therapist. Now I know you may hate me for all of this but it's for your own good, I Love you Castiel dont forget that."