If You Knew the True Me

If You Knew the True Me

By: Shelby Meseberg

I'm not sure how my life came the way it did but I do know why it did. My life changed because I let out who the true me was. I didn't let what people say really get in my way. Well, until I let the true me shine that is. Hiding a part of me wasn't that hard, but trying to fake who I was, now that was hard. I wasn't sure how to do that. I knew from the beginning before I moved to this small town that people couldn't see the true me. And if they did, it would just get out to the media and I'd never be able to hide from them. So I guess you could say I put on a show and I didn't let the other side show. That's where my story begins...

Chapter 1

April 8, 2007

Hello Kaeli. It's your mother. I know that since you are reading this it means that something has happened to me. I know you must be upset or even thinking that you should just give up on life. But my daughter doesn't give up on life just for the fact I'm no longer here. Your special, Kaeli. And I'm not just saying that because you are my daughter. I'm saying that because it's the truth. You can sing as if you have a private teacher, but you don't. You dance as if the music speaks right to you, and the way you play instruments. My dear, you are amazing. I don't care what some people think about you. But I think one day, you will be so amazing that everyone will wish they would have believed in you like I do.

Kaeli, I know that since something has happened to me that you will be going to your father's. I know that you guys haven't really been getting along with everything that has been going on. But don't let your dad moving on ruin what you guys had when you were a little girl. Yes I know what you are thinking, "hello mom, he left us. His wife and child for some girl he rarely knew." But my dear, he has always loved you. And me. Though we did get a divorce and everything. Him and I...We're still connected through you. Our precious daughter.

I know you most likely won't like having to listen to your new step mom. But sweetheart please. Don't give your father a hard time. He will have one already with your older brother. Trust in your dad though, I know how hard it is for you to trust. But I know some how you will be able to trust him again. You just have to find a way. I also know that you aren't going to be happy for the fact your father is taking care of your step siblings and yet he was never truly there for you. But Kaeli, he is a guy. And you know what I say about guys. They sometimes are so stupid they don't know left from right.

Before I finish writing this letter, I want you to remember what happened here in Coconut Creek. You forgot who will matter, never matter and who will always matter. Baby girl, don't forget who you are. And let the world see you. But don't let people use you just because of your talents. Because if they don't like you the way you are at first then they start liking you after you show you. Then they aren't friends. And they truly don't matter.

Let your talents show my dear. But don't be afraid of trusting in someone you thought you never would. I love you with all of my heart Kaeli. And no matter where I am, I'm with you at all times in your heart. I miss you. And you better know now, I always will.

Love forever and always,

Mom

Tears were rolling down my face as I finished reading the letter my mother wrote me many years ago. But gave it to me before she died, a day ago. It hasn't even been forty-eight hours since she has been gone and yet I feel like I'm all alone in this big world. Even when my brother, Trevor, would hold me close and tell me everything was going to be ok. To me what he was saying was a lie. A lie I wouldn't believe, or even think was true. Though a small part of me wishes that the lie was the truth. That everything is ok no matter what happens. But I thought to myself, if I believe everything is ok...Then I'll look like I don't care or that she wasn't even apart of my life.