My Confessions

Chapter two

Mr. Grouch said I would have to check back with him in another two weeks. Like I needed another reminder of what I had. My mom was still nervous about me going back to school. So nervous she spent hours online looking up things that could happen to me and what we should do to consult it. Mr.Grouch even gave her pamphlets on information about "it."

I headed downstairs, the stairs creaked and whispered mini songs as I galloped down each one. My mom must of heard me and she quickly walked over to "assist" me.

"Mom I don't need help," I sputtered. It seemed like she was more concerned about this than I am and I'm the one with the illness..

She sighed, putting her hands over her face. It seemed like she was trying to hide from reality too. One thing we both had in common.

She slowly dragged her hands off of her face. She didn't want me to see her like this, but this is what I would have to deal with for the rest of my life. Or as long as it lasted. She couldn't hide this anymore from me. It seemed like she wanted to say something but was trying to hold it back. Her lips started to quiver and her face seemed to darken. One after another, small tears streamed down from her glossy blue eyes and as if she saw me as the once healthy child I would never be again.

I wanted to rush over there and hug my mom, tell her everything was alright that we would get through this. I wanted to wipe the pain away from her and make her feel all good but my feet were glued to where I was. Spiders of numbness crawled up my legs, biting me and trickling blood down them. I could see eagles and stars dancing around my head like I was in a cartoon. Clouds of blackness started to spread, distancing my mind from reality. My eyes began to close, the view of my mom became remote. My ears heard a thud and a needle of pain shot through my head. My mind only thought of one thing. Sleep. And it did just that..

* * *

I felt a tug on my arm and I opened my eyes. Water, I need water. My throat burned like a fierce lion of fire. Roaring and pounding my throat, threatening to damage me, pleading for a fight against me. I couldn't fight it, I couldn't win, I wanted to give up and just tuck myself away from life.

"Honey, take this," mom alerted me. She held a clear white object filled with a clear substance. I could see it moving around as if they were waves in an ocean storm. Quick, Drink. I told myself. I grabbed the cup from mom and gulped down the water. It slowly eased down my throat, one sip after another, defeating the lion of fire in my throat. I sighed, opening my eyes to see my mom's anxious face relax. She worried too much.

I dragged my body upwards and sat up. Mom took the cup from me and put it in the sink. She ice skated her feet back over here, with elegance and caution.

"You're not going to school," she whispered as if I didn't have a choice. She treated me like I wasn't strong enough to go to school anymore. I didn't want the special treatment or attention. I just wanted to go to school and sit in the gum filled seats, maybe even complain how much school sucked with my friends. But deep down I couldn't blame her for it, she was scared and I was scared too. Nobody knew what would happen next, maybe just a little luck was all I needed. Yes, I'm talking to you god. Listen up.

I fought the urge to agree with my mom. I wanted to see my friends and act like nothing was wrong. It wouldn't be lying it would just be... barricading the truth. In school they say that lying is a butterfly effect waiting to happen. Are they wrong?  They didn't say anything about keeping the truth from people, after all telling the truth sometimes can hurt others. They shatter harder from the truth than a lie.