This isn't a story. This isn't a stupid rant/out of context book. This is entirely, 100% stuff I've been dealing with. If you want to read it, fine. You guys deserve to know what I feel daily.
I'm a straight A student, my highest grade being over a 100 in English, my lowest in the mid 90s.
I seem like a really social person when you meet me, seeing as I have a lot of friends. But I'm actually really shy when it comes to meeting new people.
I'll get awkward and start rambling for no reason.
Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months. He really loved me. I didn't return the feelings. So I broke it off, trying to spare his feelings in the long run.
It only seems like I've hurt him more.
My parents are putting a lot of pressure on me, trying to get me to talk to him still. I'm trying to handle it my way.
Then factor in the fact that I have an audition on Saturday, I'm extremely stressed out.
The only person that takes that off puts herself down in multiple ways. I'm not putting names for a reason, but she knows who she is.
I'm trying my best to help her. I did for a while, but recently.... I feel like all I've done is make it worse. I'm trying my best, but I can't see any progress.
My heart is only so big, but I've managed to squeeze every single one of you guys into it, my friends.... Writing is more than something I do for fun. It's an escape now.
An escape from the harshness we call reality.
Not to mention that I'm having to write a horror story in my first hour for Creative Writing, and I'm not good at writing horror on my own. I need help with that, but it's an assignment.
I feel useless sometimes. Like the minute I die, no one will miss me. If I were to disappear off of the face of the Earth, who would care? My parents are too focused on my brother, the one who's choosing a path for his life. The senior.
Why would they care about the sophomore freak?
My mom said that herself. I'm a freak. All because I have straight A's.
Nothing is good enough for them.
Sometimes, I wonder how many of my friends would care if I didn't come to school. If I didn't come online. If I just stopped talking altogether.
I'm sorry if you made it all the way through that. I just felt like you all deserved to know what was going through my brain.
