texts g.d

lesson learned

Sienna's POV

I remember when I was young my dad would sing to me. He would sing music from the movie O Brother Where Art Thou? My favorite song was called "Go To Sleep". Sometimes he would spend hours in my room trying to perfect the high note in the Disney song, "Wish Upon a Star".

His soft, angelic voice would fill my room as I fell asleep. Without his singing, thoughts of vampires and monsters would flood my brain, scaring me enough to keep my eyes open for hours. I would imagine them hiding in my closet, waiting for the perfect time to hop out and harm me in my sleep.

I never appreciated his singing until now, knowing I may never hear him struggle on notes or sometimes fall asleep on my floor.

I may never hear his voice comfort me when I have a nightmare. I may never feel his stubble scratching my skin when he kisses my cheek. I may never laugh about a cheese video on YouTube with him again.

My gratefulness was at an all time low until now. I didn't appreciate him until I'm about to lose him. I might lose him. My dad. Who would never hurt a fly, who would sacrifice so much just to make me happy. He loved me and I loved him so much. I never got along with my mom as much as I did him.

She never understood the struggle of being a teenager. He always knew how it felt to struggle with grades, peer pressure, depression.

He just knew.

He remembered what it was like for him.

Now I'm so close to losing him and I don't think he realized how much I truly love him. He'll never understand how much he means to me. He'll never be there to play with my grandchildren. He won't be there to walk me down the aisle.

He won't be there to watch me become a true adult.

This is why I have trust issues. This is why I don't make friends. This is why I was depressed before Grayson. This is why I'm not religious.

I'm so afraid of losing someone, I forget to appreciate them while they're around.

It just sucks that for me to learn my lesson, I have to lose someone I hold the closest to my heart.