Him.

Chapter 5

Brianna's POV

The day was finally over. I was relieved as we closed down the store and walked out. I walked fast so I could catch a bus quickly. Zayn caught up with me and casually put his arm around my shoulder. It was normal.

"Since when did you start developing feelings for me?" I ask him the question which has been bugging me ever since he told me. He gave me a confused look at my sudden question and shook his head. "Does it matter?" he asked me, a hint of worry flashing in his eyes.

Okay look, Zayn is really a sweet, caring and friendly guy. He treats me like his own sister. He had always been with me through all times since second grade and I really owe him for that because admit that I'm a crap friend. I'm crap at soothing friends. But he's just amazing. I know... I know with what I've said so far Zayn is an angel. And yes, he indeed is an angel. But I don't feel anything more than what I feel for a friend towards him. I don't know. Each time I think he has feelings for me, guilt floods over my whole body. It makes me feel that for everything he's done for me, in return all he needs is my love, but I can't give it to him. I can't give him his longing reward. I am a jerk.

I tried thinking of how it would be if we both actually were together but I still couldn't get it right. I've been questioning myself for the past two hours. I mean he has the looks. He has his qualities. He has an angelic heart. He truly cares for me. He stays by my side no matter what. He loves me... I guess. What has he not got for me to not like him?

"What am I missing for you to not like me?" he questions as if reading my thoughts.

"Are you ashamed of me because I work in a cupcake bakery?" He asks me again. I flinch. I've never even thought of that.

"No, Zayn I-"

"Is it because I'm an orphan and I live with my ill grandma?"

"Of course not, Zayn. What made you think that?"

He looked away as if he was hurt. Yes, he was hurt and I knew it. He was hurt because of me. I'm the reason. I'm the one who can't give him what he needs.

He's been growing up with no parents' love. He's only got the little love from his grandma. When he was 15, she fell ill too. Ever since, he's been taking care of her. His life doesn't want love. His life needs love. All he needs is one love and my good-for-nothing soul cannot give it. I wish I could. I would fake my love to make him happy; to make him feel what it's like to be loved, but in the end he'll be hurt. My fake love would hurt him more. More than he already is.

We were still walking to the bus stop. We finally reach. While staying for a bus, I try to make conversation; "So how's your grandma? I haven't visited her lately. I'm sorry."

He smiles. "Um...she's good. She's been more weak since the stroke last month," he says quietly and looks at me and smiles again. I nod understandingly.

"Isn't your mom's birthday close?" he asks. "It's somewhere around this month, isn't it?"

Shiiiiiiiiit.

I gasp and nearly choke on my own breath. "Oh my god! It's tomorrow!"

"Oh."

"I gotta run into the mall before I get home," I smile awkwardly. He remembered my mother's birthday while I myself forgot it. I just mentally slapped myself so hard.

"I can come with you," he offers.

"No, Zayn it's okay, you don't have to," I trail off trying to find words, but I was looking at a smirking Zayn in front of me.

"You think I'm gonna buy all that bullshit? All that pretending?" His smirk only increases. My cheeks flush and I try to hide the smile forming on my lips. He looks at the road looking for a bus. I'm lucky he didn't see me blushing. "By the way, you're really cute when you blush," he remarks casually. I spoke too soon.

A bus finally arrives and we get down at the stop closest to the mall. We walk into Macy's to find a gift for my mum.

We end up buying clothes for ourselves and a gift for my mum.

We finally reach our driveway. Oh, and incase I forgot to mention, Zayn lives next door.

I say goodbye in a dramatical babyish way and he smiles. This reminds me of the good old high school days when we'd go to the lake and come back late acting like we're drunk.

He comes upto me and hugs me.

Okay.

A friendly hug. I instantly hug him back. We pull away and awkwardly say our goodbyes again.

But, what he does next was completely unexpected. He comes close to me and pecks my cheek and whispers in my ear "I'll always love you," and turns on his heel and walks away. When he reaches his door, he slightly waves again and goes in. So he does love me.

I shake my head and walk into my own house completely amused by what just happened.

__________________________________

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Yeah, so what did you guys think?
I know it sucks...Sorry

Sooo by far this is the longest chapter I've written I reckon..and it's 2.26AM here right now :3 I wrote it somehow 'cos I love you all <3
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