Love, Cara

High Expectations

A couple of days ago, I received an email from a boy (he wants to remain anonymous) on wattpad asking for some advice. In his message, he talked about a particular thing that I was able to relate with, and I wanted to share this with the rest of my readers because I thought that this was something that a lot of people can also relate to. 

Here is what the message read ( I took out some personal things he mentioned for privacy and also to make it short and straight to the point) :

' Dear Cara, I saw on your profile that you were open to talk to anyone so here I am with a bit of a problem. I've just started College, and I'm doing subjects that I really, really hate. This is because my parents always think for me and they never take my own choices into consideration. For example, I study maths, biology and chemistry, because my parents want me to go either in the engineering field or medical field- which I am not interested in at all. I would have preferred to do art or music just because I think I am best at it. My parents have such high expectations from me, I'm so scared that I'm going to disappoint them, but I also just really want to do what I want. I just don't know how to approach them. I feel even worse because I'm so bad at those subjects, I've been doing it since September and I still don't get it. In addition, the deadline to change subjects has long gone pass. '

**

I'm sure a lot of people go through this- It's not an uncommon thing. 
My parents are from Africa, and normally, African parents have super high expectations for their kids ( not all Africans are like this btw). Almost all my family members have a job on the medical field, so you would immediately suspect that they are smart and done well in school. For me, knowing this was like the death of my own aspirations. I wanted to make sure I was not the embarrassment in the family. My parents wanted me to pick a job that was preferably on the medical field because it was a high paying job and if I chose something else, I would be compared to other family members- which is the worst feeling in the world. 

But it came to a point where I had to think. This is my life and I don't want to be stuck doing a job that my parents picked for me for the rest of my life. I mean, can you imagine doing the thing you disliked the most for the rest of your life? It would be disgusting. 

At the end of the day, it's all about you. It's what you love to do that will make you successful. Talk to your parents about how you truly feel about this and tell them in confidence. Make them feel like they don't have a choice and they can't change you mind speak with a bit of authority- but obviously, speak to them with respect. Explain to them that you can still be a great person, with a great job, but only if are actually good at it. Don't let people's expectations make your life decisions because there will be points in your life when you have to make your own choices and you wouldn't know how to make them because you've let other people take charge. As for your subjects, talk to your teachers, convince them to change. If they are serious about having smart students, they will let you pick what you want- which is what you know best and can achieve in.

So for anyone out there who faces the same problem, think for yourself- I know it sounds narcissistic, but you have to think about your future, and what will benefit you the most. Do what you love and love what you do. Don't let people do that for you. 

'Do what you love and let it kill you'- Charles Bukowski

If anyone wants something I should talk about or wants to talk to me. I can assure you that I am here. And if you would just want to have a conversation and not a chapter response like this one, I also respect that completely. 

With that being said, Have a nice day/afternoon/evening

Love Cara x