This is a mini story I wrote after my breakup with Grant. I don't know why I'm putting it up but a few people asked how I was doing and this pretty much wraps up how I'm feeling. I will have the next chap up tonight or tomorrow. I just need to edit and tweak a few things. Also, thanks for 300k views on this book ;) means a lot! ❤️ anyways enjoy this depressing "story" that sucks absolute ass!
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Him..
It's funny how I always knew, from the start, that he would be the one to completely destroy me. It's not that I knew he would throw me away like trash but I knew he had the power to.
He was the boy I exchanged looks with at those summer parties. The one that once I found out his name, I developed a dumb crush. I continued seeing him over and over but never grew the balls to actually talk to him. That's why when he finally made the move to come and chat, I felt completely panicked. I couldn't help it, though. His gorgeous looks made me go crazy.
We talked all night, the conversation filled with laughs and smiles. The talk lasted for hours. We talked as if we were close friends who haven't been separated since birth. It felt as if I knew him for my whole life and could trust him with anything.
We continued having those talks throughout the summer. Endless conversations about pointless things. Our friendship continued to grow through the months. Our late night talks, the good morning texts, the excitement of talking to one another throughout the day.
Then once school rolled around, I found out he was going to be attending my school. I then felt excited for the year, knowing I would have him the whole time. It worked out perfectly. I had several classes with him and my locker was right next to his. My crush was growing wildly everyday.
We both ended up spilling our feelings for one another. It was a bit uncomfortable at first but then suddenly it went away. The next day he came up to me with a bouquet of flowers and heart shaped container filled with various chocolates. He held a sign saying "Would You Do Me The Honor Of Being My Lovely Girlfriend?". The whole thing felt like something out of a movie.
Everyday I grew more and more in love with him. It was hard to not, though. His good morning paragraphs, cute, unexpected gifts, his warm cuddles, and the big hugs. It was all so perfect. We went on dates almost every week. Going to the movies, the mall, going to dinner together, even having those small picnics at the local park. We even went on vacations together. Going on long walks on the beach, swimming in the ocean, getting ice cream and riding bikes around the small community in Lajolla.
I remember our first kiss like it happened only yesterday. The way his hazel eyes stared down at my lips as I stared at his. His gentle fingers intertwining with mine before leaning in. I felt his minty breath hit my face as the moment grew more and more intense. Before I knew it, our lips were clashing together. They fit perfectly with one another like they were meant to be. Our lips moved in sync as he gently squeezed my hand. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss. The passionate kiss grew into a more lustful make out session. That night I lost my virginity to this boy.
Our first fight eventually swung around. The stupid, drama filled tension that grew between me and my lover. My so called best friend turned on me and convinced my own boyfriend I had cheated on him. He was so furious and upset that he couldn't even look at me for what seemed for the whole week. He soon came back around and we talked about it. To me, it seemed the first fight brought us together more in the relationship but little did I know it totally broke him.
The following days together felt odd and uncomfortable. The air was filled with an awkward tension. I felt as if the boy I was with was a stranger. That's when it all happened. The night I found him texting the other girl. We had yelled at each other for hours going back and forth. I left his house immediately with a rage building inside me. I felt betrayed and crushed. The next day he tried convincing me that it was nothing. I wasn't that dumb though to actually believe him. Nothing was the same after that. The once perfect relationship was now broken.
The day he finally pushed me away and out of his life was the day I finally gave up. I felt so tired of life. I felt like the one thing keeping me sane and together had just ripped apart. Now I was broken and hurt. The next few days were living hell. Having to walk into the school hallways and making eye contact with him was the worse. I'll admit; I was still in love with him, sadly.
I continued making stupid mistakes by allowing him to come back. He and I talked off and on and it felt as if he was now just using me. That's when I had to be the bigger person and call it off all over again. Why did I even do it? I knew I was going to be hurt over and over again but I was oddly okay with it. I wanted him. Badly. I wanted his gentle touch. His lips pressed onto mine. His big, bulky arms wrapped around my small, petite body again. I needed his love. It felt as if he was a drug and I was addicted to it. It was the only thing I wanted and needed.
People ask me now and then if I'm actually over him. I always respond "yes" even when I want to scream "NO!". How could I be over him? Him. The one I gave my whole heart to. I sacrificed everything for him. I gave him my love and everything I had. I love him. I still do.
-Lynn (Xdolanxtwinsx)
