My Curse

Session 6

         I woke up to the smell of smoke. It took me a few minutes gather my thoughts while the grogginess of sleep wore off. When i was finally alert I saw Nikova asleep by the fire, two cups of tea waiting patiently near him. I walked over to him and sat down. I drank my tea in silence, staring into the fire.

        If you look close enough into any fire you start to see shapes and that's what happened to me. I began to see birds flying away in a blaze. Ferocious lions, trapped beneath logs. For a second I saw my mom. It was in that moment I started to cry.

        Before, I could ignore reality and just keep moving on my hope alone. When it became night and I was left alone with my thoughts my hope dissipated. There was a large chance I was going to die on that mountain and I hadn't even said goodbye to my family. I was so convinced I was coming back I didn't think to talk to them.

       My body started to shake and I couldn't stop crying. I was filled with so much grief and sorrow in that moment. I tried to keep quiet, so I didn't wake up Nikova, but it was useless. I started sobbing and hyperventilating. He woke up with a start and for a second just stared at me. He didn't ask me any questions. He just sat up and moved next to me. He grabbed his cup of tea and drank it while I cried. He didn't try to comfort me by telling me it was going to be ok, he just sat with me. Eventually I fell asleep to the smell of mint and lemons.