Don't Let Go

Guilt

“Don’t tell him, simple as that” Jesy offered after Perrie had spent a good part of the afternoon fretting about how to explain what happened last night to her boyfriend, her lovely boyfriend, that would most likely kill her. “You weren’t on your right mind and nothing really happened so stop worrying about it”

“It didn’t because Joel was man enough not to take advantage of me! I threw myself at him Jessica!” Perrie cried, it was their break from a very exhausting writing session. They were supposed to write a happy song today, but all on the blonde’s mind was the fact that Zayn would probably dump her after learning that she ended up alone in their home, their room and… Perrie didn’t really want to think about it.

He was just supposed to give her a ride home, nothing wrong in that, and there weren’t paparazzi at the back entrance of the club so there won’t be any compromising pictures. But Perrie wasn’t used to drinking, much less to completely smashing herself, so on the way home she passed out.

Next thing she remembers is someone carrying her in its arms, a male most likely, and she just assumes its Zayn, because who else would be carrying her to their bed if it was not him. Only it wasn’t, it only took her a minute to realize the touch felt foreign to her. She finally opened her eyes to notice she was right, instead of tan skin and dark hair; she met a blonde guy, Joel.

Perrie felt like bursting into tears right there, Zayn was the one supposed to take care of here like that, he was the one supposed to drive her home, tuck her into bed, be there when she needed him. Instead, she didn’t even have a clue of his location, instead he went partying last night, probably getting drunk as well, maybe even snogged a pretty girl or to and she became once again the joke of the entire world, because it didn’t pass a month without her hearing nasty rumors about him cheating and let’s be honest, were there’s smoke there’s fire, and maybe there was some truth to it.

Joel didn’t seem to notice she was awake now, and he carefully slipped her into bed, carefully throwing the coverts above her and stared at her for a second, with what it seemed to Perrie as love eyes.

“Thank you for this” she quietly mumbled, getting Joel out of his trance.

“It’s nothing Pez, that’s what friends are for” he replied, shrugging it off. Perrie sat on the bed and hold his hand, giving him a shy smile.

“You’re so much more than a friend, so caring and loving, that girl who dumped you was clearly out of her mind” standing up a little, she stood closer to him, so close their faces were nearly touching but he kindly pushed Perrie away.

“Let’s not do something we’ll regret in the morning” Joel said and Perrie processed her actions, instantly bursting into tears.

“I’m so sorry” she blabbed between sobs. “I love Zayn, I’m such a horrible person, I love him more than anything, he’s my everything, my life, I love him” she repeated over and over again and she could tell Joel had trouble leaving, hesitating whether to comfort her or not. “Leave please” she asked him as gently as possible and he did as told, leaving Perrie a crying mess.

“So it’s possible the massive headache I had the next day had nothing to do with alcohol but more with crying” she told Jesy, sipping from her coffee cup. “I’m the worst person Jesy, and him calling me in the morning, so worried about me, just makes me feel worse, I feel sick”

“It was what? Nothing! And you were completely smashed-“

“So what are you saying is, if you were to find Jordan throwing himself at a girl your extremely jealous about, you wouldn’t flip?”