The Book of Fanfics

Incairoroar -ALELELELELLEN

  It was an enchanting night. The sounds of the waves crashing against the sand in the midst of the shining moon were capable of soothing anyone, even if they had just committed murder and hid the body in the sand to slowly yet surely be washed away. As standard couples commonly do, two lovers strolled down the beach romantically. It's quite frankly a good thing that it was in the middle of the night, because nobody would want to see an awkward adolescent walk alongside his boyfriend, a 6 foot tall anthropomorphic black and red cat with the muscles of hulk hogan and a belt made entirely out of fire. The boy's name was Cairo. He was stuck in the style of the 90's, and had come out a couple of days ago as a furry. What a fucking idiot. On the other hand, his boyfriend, Incineroar, could not properly speak English, and should be considered either an incredibly tall and strong pet or a pokemon that can beat anyone's ass and not be considered an compatible partner. However, they fell in love, and while Cairo's friends were sickened of the thought of them being together, Cairo and his Incineroar did not care. 

   "Hey love, can you carry me?? I'm kinda tired as fuck and I'm too lazy to walk." Cairo asked. With a singular nod, his lover scooped him up and carried him bridal style. In response, Cairo romantically sighed and hung his arms around Incineroar's somewhat bulky and concerning neck. They went on gazing at each other for minutes until Cairo began talking bullshit again. 

  "I really don't understand why people are disgusted at us. I mean, I get you're edgy, and I really understand Allen has a thing for edgy, Gothic people, but I don't wanna be like him. I want you to know that I love you, even if our love is illegal, and unlike that emo scumbag, I don't fall for dead people, and I know for sure you're not dead, because if you died, I'd die with you." Cairo then kissed Incineroar on the nose (if he actually had a decent one), and Incineroar made a cat-like purr back. Cairo didn't stop smooching the damn pokemon, and Incineroar's purrs did not decrease either. Suddenly, they fell onto the sand. For god sake, you'd think Cairo was crushed by those rock-hard abs, but he wasn't. Cairo just kinda shimmied over to the side and began furiously making out his with cat boyfriend. Incineroar, having no fucking clue what to do during a heated situation like this, tried kissing back and licked Cairo. Why? I don't wanna know. They went on like this until the waves from the beach splashed onto Incineroar. The water burned his furry skin, and he screamed like a five year old beauty pageant contestant in agony. Super effective, you know? The waves kept attacking him, and soon after, he fainted. 

    "WELL SHIT!" Cairo yelled out loud. "I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW IF HE'S DEAD OR NOT NOW. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THE OTHERS I MADE OUT WITH A DEAD FUCKING CAT!?" He then stared at his unconscious lover, laying motionless in the sand as the water splashed on and on. After rolling him up the sand to avoid anymore water (i'd say it took him at least an hour), he felt the sudden urge to smooch Incineroar. With all that water, it wouldn't be a surprise if his little pokemon heart did stop, but Cairo didn't think it would make a difference. With his decision made, he began making out with Incineroar once again, grasping at every part of his large body. He even kissed the cat's fucking abs. This extremely illegal event went on for some time until Cairo heard some punk-ass teenagers running nearby. Hastily, he smooched his lover on the lips once last time and ran off, never to be convicted of bestiality in his life again.