a part of me will always want to be in a position where i have people around all the time. i want people to talk to me without a reason and just tell me about how their day is going and something stupid they did and ask me how i'm doing and just TALK and let me know they're living their lives and having fun BUT
another part of me longs for isolation, mainly out of jealousy. i love love love sharing my life with people who care to listen. i would rather tell a stranger who cares about moments and appreciates the feelings that come from them about a really special moment in my life, than a friend who doesn't find it interesting; and i've been working very hard to get here; to be able to live my life without feeling the need to tell everybody what's going on.
i think another another part of me is obsessed with the idea of keeping moments to myself, as they are so special nobody will be able to understand how great they are to me which in turn will make it feel less special if people don't care or can't relate to it.
i am always trying to find balance between these two things.
it's probably going to take a while
but when it happens it will be so grand and i will feel so good.
