Zayn One Shots

Silent

This has been on my computer since July…

Zayn Malik. What can I say? He’s perfect. Sadly, I’m not perfect for him. He’s my best friend and always has been. Since he is away a lot, I often travel with him. I see everything he does on a daily basis. People think he’s a cheater and he’s bad boy, but honestly, that’s not true. He’s faithful to every girl he dates. He’s sweet and caring. He’s the first person there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on.

How could I have not fallen in love with him? He’s funny and creative. He’s handsome and smells amazing. I just want to be the one who he protects. I want his hand to forever be laced with mine.

The thing is I’ve already told him I liked him, almost 2 years ago.

***

We were at my flat waiting to go out to eat with some other friends including the boys. I had just finished fixing my hair and I walked into my living room and sat down on the couch next to Zayn, waiting for Harry to pick us up.

“I don’t understand why I can’t find a girl that will believe I’m a good guy.” He sighed, as he deleted messages in his phone.

“You’ll find one eventually.” I gave him a weak smile.

I was beginning to get frustrated by him talking about girls all the time. I am his best friend, but I wish he’ll just stop already. It hurts me to listen to it.

“What about you?’ he asked looking up at me.

“Wh-what?” I was getting excited and nervous at the same time.

“What about you, talking to any guys?” My heart sank.

Where the hell is Harry?

“Well, I’m talking to you right now.” I joked.

“You know what I mean.” He laughed, nudging me with his elbow.

I let out an awkward chuckle. “Oh no. I don’t have time for that.” I waved him off.

“But you have time to travel around with me?” He smirked and put his hand on my knee.

I clenched my jaw and looked down at his hand. “Yeah, you’re my best friend. You’re more important.”

“(y/n).” he took his hand away. “Do you…?”

I slightly nodded. “Yeah.”

“Shit.” That’s all he said.

I knew he didn’t like me back, that’s why I never said anything.

“It’s okay, Zayn.” I broke the silence. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that we are just friends. Don’t worry about it.” I flashed my best fake smile and doorbell rang. “Finally, I was getting impatient.” I laughed.

Zayn followed behind me and we walked out to the car. I made sure I hadn’t brought up the subject since then.

***

So here I am, still crushing on Zayn and falling harder. I just can’t help it and it kills me. I’m afraid of rejection. It happened once it could happen again.

I once read somewhere that, “It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.” That’s what I was doing. Zayn believes I stopped liking him.

Why does he think that?

I started dating and now I have a boyfriend. He is wonderful, but he’s not Zayn. I love Zayn, but I will never have the guts to tell him. He has a new girlfriend almost every week.

It kills to see them kissing him and holding him. It isn’t fair and I couldn’t stand it anymore. So, I stopped traveling with him and started spending more time at home. Zayn didn’t seem to care and why would he? He never paid attention to me because of all his girly friends anyway.

I guess it was all for the better. I could move on or at least try. All I did know for Zayn and I, I had to remain silent.

(Zayn’s POV)

I know (y/n) never stopped liking me. Hell, I even started to feel the same. I did, and I never said anything. I beat myself up for it every single day.

When she told me she wasn’t going to be traveling with me anymore, I was hurt more than I let show. I went out with girls so she would think I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want to go out with (y/n). I wanted her to go out with someone better than me.

I was shit compared to her new boyfriend. He had everything she needed. I hated to see them together, but seeing her look so happy, made me happy. It was bittersweet. I wished it was me. I wished I could kiss her and wrap my arms around her. I wished that we were in a different world, where I was a good person and I was worthy enough to have her be mine.

You’re probably wondering why I can’t tell her when I know she likes me.

Other than me not living up to standards, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I know, it’s stupid, since our friendship pretty much is ruined. We barely talk and when we do someone is there. Her boyfriend doesn’t like me; I can feel it and girls I go out with are intimidated by her. And they should be.

She’s gorgeous and funny and everything I want in a woman, but alas I screwed it up and now I have to be the one who’s silent.