Thoughts out loud

Welcome to: New York

I've always wondered what it was like in New York City, especially in the winter, the cold crisp air knocking past your face as you turn the corner of a street, the smell of the fresh coffee beans brewing in the coffee shops a few blocks down. And the atmosphere, the people barging past you rushing to get to the tube station, people left and right wrapped in their hats and scarves, boots up their knees and eyes focused to their next destination.

The thought amazed me, that was until I got here, "it's too bloody cold" I shove my hands in my pocket preventing them from falling off, stepping out of the black SUV, mum pushes past me and jogs to the hotel entrance "quit complaining Keke" the men dressed in suits hold open the door for us, I smile sweetly before rushing after mum who's storming to the front desk "deep deep" I take a breath and stand in front of her "deep down, you are saying the exact same thing" forcing a smile, she laughs and adjusts my beanie on my head and approaches the women at the desk "excuse me" the women dressed in a red fitted dress peeks her head past the stack of books and grins "Ah yes the Jenna's have made it!" she announces and stands up, mum turns to me and gives a small thumbs up, I laugh to myself and walk to the lounge area "we won't be too long Keke" mum calls at me "kk!" I yell back and throw myself on the black leather couches and shut my eyes

..

Mum's business finally was noticed by some rich businessman in New York 2 months ago, she would spend countless nights up until 6 in the morning sending emails and answering phone calls for multiple business deals, of course she denied them because she wanted it to be "the right time" and finally one day she came running into my room with her hair and makeup half done, jumping up and down with her hand covering the phone, I already knew what happened and what this was all about but being the daughter I am, I jumped off my bed and ran into her arms, after the 10 consistent minutes of grinning she finally told me that Mr Tyson Addlian, CEO of the Fashion magazine '' asked my mother to be head of management and international business deals within the company, they were the 2nd biggest and most successful magazine companies in NYC "um hello! That's brilliant!" I screamed waving my hands all about the place, we were acting like a bunch of 12 year olds but I didn't care, and she was happy which meant I was happy.

Within the next few weeks she had announced that Mr Addlian invited us to New York for the official coronation of my mum's role and a launch party for the magazines new season. Which is why we are here today, the launch party was in 2 days which meant i had to find a way to look presentable or at least half decent in over 24 hours

..

"Miss Jenna" a high pitch voice interrupts my reminiscing, I turn and see the perky desk lady smiling holding the elevator for me "your room is ready, top floor" I nod and thank her. I enter the elevator and look at my reflection "wow, I really need to fix my hair" I whisper tucking my hair inside my beanie, finally the ding on the elevator forced me to turn away from my reflection and opened to the floor, let me rephrase that to the penthouse floor "oh my.." my mouth drops open, the elevator lead me to this, I walk out further to the middle of the living space.

I was surrounded by windows, the furniture was white, with a fluffy black rug in the centre between the two couches, the elevator was moulded into a pillar in the middle of the apartment, sort of like a doughnut.

"Mum!" I shout and walk backwards still amazed by the view, it faced the whole of New York, from the building light across the street to miles away where you could see the shadows of Brooklyn.
I cautiously take my phone out my back pocket in case I wake myself up from this dream and take a million burst photos of the sunset that faced me "Akela" my phone flies out my hands and onto the marble floor below me "mum! Don't do that" she chuckles behind me and I scowl at her, and then follow to the rooms.

The walls are textured with a cream colour and coated with a clear gloss, basic modern photos of wonders around the world are lined up as we walk down the hall way to the master bedroom "here's you" she taps the door "no f-" her hand clasps my mouth, I don't swear, well I do but very rarely. The queen sized bed was in the centre of the room, with clear curtains that draped around it like sleeping beauty's bed, the walls were naked exposing the brick wall, but I loved the street vibe to it, there was a massive wooden wardrobe beside the door and as the living room, behind the bed was an open view to the streets of New York, a little less busy which i liked but you could still hear the police sirens and see the bright neon lights of the buildings behind the hotel "I love it" I whisper and turn to her, she's smiling leaning in the doorway "you've always been a city girl you know Keke" I smile and look out to the city.

..

Back story

London was like New York but way more urban and less loud, it wasn't what it seemed to be on TV or on social media. I live in the urban side of London, where there are more youths and it smells more like piss than it does cakes.

I go to a good school with a blunt grey uniform, filled with multicultural teenagers who don't sound like they came fresh from the queen's house, not even the queen sounds like how everyone predicts. Beside the point, I sounded posh even though I wasn't.

My dad was from Oxford, born into a wealthy family and grew up being heavily privileged, my life growing up was the equivalent of that.

I grew up in a 4 bedroom house with a beautiful garden and lots of closet space, we then got evicted because my father one day decided to leave all of the bills for my mum to pay and that she did, working 2 jobs a day 7 am-1 pm, we didn't see him since then until in the year of 2013.

Mum and I were in the middle of movie night, when the phone rang, it was the police "hello is this Mrs Jenna?" the deep voice mumbled into the phone, I perked up and she put the phone on loud speaker "yes this is she" her voice became worried, we exchanged a look before he took a deep breath and spoke "I'm sorry ma'am but your husband's body was found on a field earlier this evening" I watched her face transform from hopeful to devastated and the sad thing was I felt nothing. Nothing.
I slowly got up and headed into my room, leaving behind the weeping of her voice, locking the door behind me I made my way to the balcony, I leaned on the railing and placed my glasses on, squinting if I could spot any police in the near distance, then I saw it, helicopters and police trucks circling making their way to my house.

My mind was a mess I heard my name being called so I ran back inside and jumped a few steps to find my mum being forced down the stairs of our basement by a large bald guy "hey!" I scream making him turn, his face showed no sign of guilt, in fact he looked proud "you disgust me" my mum spat and I launch at him, jumping on his back and beating him with all my strength, he threw me to the ground and stepped on me multiple times before I hurried away to the front door and flung it open screaming at the top of my lungs "help!' then again and again until I saw blue and red lights before me. That was the longest night of my life.

I'll never forget it.

Days passed and neither mum nor I spoke about the incident, I guess we just went along with life as usual minus a father figure.

..

"Akela" my mum snaps and I raise my head to look at her "Hun are you alright?" her voice lowers and she walks to me, holding onto either of my shoulders "hey" she whispers and kisses my forehead, she knows what I'm thinking about she always does "he's our guardian angel now" I whisper and make eye contact with her, she smiles and acts all shy like the child she is "right" I clap and pull her into a hug "I'm going to run myself a bath and have an early night" it was around 7 pm here and I was still jet lagged from the long ass flight "alright Hun, I'll be in my room if you need me" she pulls the beanie off my head before jogging out the room.

I take off my jacket and throw it onto the bed, making my way to the bathroom with a wide grin plastered on my face as I spot a massive jar filled with bath bombs "come to mama" I whisper and slid onto the white tiles and drop onto my knees digging into the jar, I pull out a pink and white bath bomb and begin to run the bath.

.........

Can I get a hell yeah!

I finally decided to upload 'Thoughts out loud' I was so worried and needed several months to refocus. Thank you for reading, I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter and thank you for joining me on this journey! x

Love: Jess