A Hundred Flukes

Names Of Pride

Names Of Pride - Chapter 23

Khushi

Believe my kismet, here I am paving my way back to his dreaded castle to see him, hopefully for the last time in my life. How much I hate to say it, but he was right in one regard, he did manage to make my life hell. But I am Khushi Kumari Gupta from Lucknow, the girl who played tabla on the headmaster's table at school (and got rusticated for a week) and I have no dearth of guts. I am doing what is right and I will say what is right. The servant opens the huge door and like before, for one moment I am struck by the beauty of the place. But as I enter, my eyes spot him on the far off stair case and life's beauty fades away in the very same moment.

I tread ahead, an unknown force making me weary of my steps, gurgles of apprehension rise in my guts and all of a sudden I feel nervousness creeping upon me. Its all because of that stupid dream I saw yesterday, Devi Maiyya I beg you, please don't let me see any of his dreams again or I'll stop sleeping. He climbs down the steps, looking at me (or glaring again, I can't make out.) and now he stands right in front of me. I stare at the ground, how do I start? I feel uneasy, my hand feels uneasy, it leaves my side and goes up to hold my dopatta. Annoying nervous wreck that I become every time in his presence, where is my voice? Where is my anger? His eyes slowly leave my face and move to where my right hand is and stop at the wound on my wrist which he is very much responsible for. He furrows his brows, shockingly not in anger. Wait what is that expression called, which he now has on his face? My first discovery of the day, he has an expression on his face. Applause. This expression doesn't look like anger. Double applause. Now what?

"Are you okay?" he says in what I understand to be the kindest tone he must have ever assumed in his life and mind you, it’s his kindest tone, don't expect it to sound like what you usually associate 'kind' with. Wait, what did he say? I jerk my head up, my eyes widen slightly as I stare at the biggest hypo...hypokrut? whatever that word is, which all politicians in the world are. People whose actions and words don't go together. That's what Arnav Singh Raizada is, hypokrut. And that's his first mistake of the day, he got my temper back.

"What did you ask? Am I ok?" I say, my voice trembles in anger, he opens his mouth to say something, "NO" I scream silencing him, "Your talking over, it is only me speaking today".

"After all that you have done, only Arnav Singh Raizada can have the balls to ask that question." yup, I use that word, he has balls, cocks, bats, rackets everything to ask that. "then have your answer Mr. Raizada that I AM GOOD and in a few minutes I'd be even better, for I decided that I am leaving this job."

I look at his eyes to read his reaction, they don't show much so I rummage through my bag and produce the resignation letter, "Here is my resignation." His eyes dart at the paper, some thing like little shock evident in them.

I take a deep breath, "Now before you start ranting about my status and how dare i entered your house or get this idea that I am leaving this job because I am scared, let me tell you, I am not quitting because I am scared. I am not quitting because I can't work, I can work and I have always done hard work, a lot of it, because my life depends on it but I CAN'T BECOME SOMEBODY'S SERVANT."

"From correcting your name on thousands of papers to assisting in parking cars when it was raining cats and dogs, then staying awake the entire night typing reports and delivering them to your house, early in the morning, I did all the work you gave me, quietly, without complaining, because I knew the worth of that contract, and I respected it, for it had my name over it."

"The importance of Khushi Kumari Gupta written over it was much more to me than you or your name. According to contract I signed with you, giving me tasks was your right and carrying them out was my duty. A duty that I carried out with all my honesty and sincerity, without failing. But you Mr. Raizada, while practicing your rights, you forgot that with every right, there comes a responsibility. And the moment you forgot your responsibility, YOUR RIGHTS AND MY DUTY, BOTH ENDED."