Purpose

Eighteen

Jungkook's Point of view

Two hours have passed since we have made it to this abandoned train track. And JuMin still hasn't made eye contact with me since we left the school. I can't help but wonder what is going on in her mind right now. I looks as if her mind was racing replaying that scene over and over again. I know it won't make anything better, but I think it's best if I stay silent for now.

"Do.. Do you think that everyone knows?" JuMin's voice is soft and yet pleasing despite the fact that it's almost gone due to her yelling at BoRa earlier.

"I... Yeah." I want to tell her that everyone will forget about it and that everything will be okay,that she has nothing to worry about but I can't. I know that none of it is true.

"I messed up didn't I? I should have just let her beat my ass. But instead I listened to my gut. I should have..."

"You did what you felt was right and it was. She bullied you JuMin. Don't feel bad for it." I cut her off. My words coming off harsher than I would have liked but it's more of the truth than what I would have said a few minutes ago. "You didn't hurt her." I sigh, hoping to reassure her.

"I should have." She huffs picking at skin around her nails. "I should have hurt her like she does me. I should have humiliated her like she does to me everyday.I could just... Ugh" She grumbles and I can't help but laugh her. I know she doesn't mean the words that leaves her lips. But it is too damn funny that she would think that way.

She looks up at me, her eyes are dark and bloodshot.Her cheeks are tear stained and slightly red almost pink. I can't help but stare at her neck.

"I know I seem insane." She chuckles.

I honestly don't think she is insane, she isn't any where close to that. Not in my eyes at least.

"Everyone must think that at this point, don't they?" She looks but at me her eyes glossy and her lip trembling. "I am... I am a mess." She sighs closing her eyes, and I closely watch the rise and fall of her chest. It doesn't match the sound of her breathing. Her chest rises and falls at a quick pace her breathing is calm and soothing.

"I don't know what I am saying." She smiles looking at me once again. But this time I don't make eye contact. "Why don't you look at me?" She questions. Her hand making their way to my chin pulling my face to hers. "Aren't I pretty like this?" She uses her other hand to gesture to the bruises on her neck.

I stay silent, unsure what to say. Her face is only inches away from mine and I her eyes are wild as they stare back into mine. I quickly look away. She grabs my hand places it around her neck. My eyes widen at her sudden action of not letting me remove myself from her. Her eyes wild as the smile on her faces is wicked.

I flinch at the sudden pressure she applies to my hand that is wrapped her neck. "Do it." She whispers as she closes her eyes, still smirking at me.

"Of course I am not." She lets go and jumps down from the empty train cart. The sound of her hitting the gravel brings my eyes up to her, she is dusts off the back of her skirt before walking away.

"Ya, where are you going?" I manage to say before jumping off the back, following her down the path full of rocks and dirt.

"Away." She simply states as if it was an obvious answer.

"To where?" I question grabbing her arm pulling her back.

"Just away. To forget, and renew my life." She states no emotion in her voice. Cold, almost dead. She pulls herself from my grip and goes back to walking.

JuMin's point of view

I turn around to look Jungkook in the eyes but they won't meet mine. I can tell what he is thinking. And it's far from that. I want to live life without worrying that GooHi will beat me for waking up to late or coming home when is is busy. I want to have fun for once.

"I am not going to kill myself."

"I.. I wasn't." He mumbles looking at the rocks beneath my feet.

"Come with me." I quickly grab his hand and start walking before he could protest my action.

I have no idea where I am going but I just know I want to get away from here. I want to never come back. I want to lose myself in the idea of being happy. Maybe even forget everything. It sounds crazy and unreasonable. At this point anything sounds good to me.

The aching pain in my chest has subsided only to be replaced with a numb feeling. A feeling that is bearable. As if that elephant sitting there as removed it my chest. Maybe even that someone who has stabbed me with a hot branding knife, laughing and taunting me enjoying my pain and confusion has been replaced with me stabbing them and laughing maybe even enjoying their confusion. In better words this feeling is grate.

After thirty minutes of walking in silence. My mind finally stops racing with thoughts I am not used to. I feel as if I was someone I am not. But don't think I will ever be able to admit it out loud.

"I am sorry for earlier." I finally say breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"It's fine." He sighs, walking ahead of me.

"Jungkook." I whine as I feel the sharp pain creep back into my chest. Over taking its home once again.

"Yeah?" He stops turning around to me, his face emotionless.

"I am sorry." I say once again, sound more pathetic than I had hoped. But I am. I am pathetic. That is something I am not afraid to admit to myself or anyone for that matter.

"And I said it was fine. Didn't I?" His words comes off cold as they rip their way throw me.

I stand here hurt, I can't find a reason to be hurt but I am. Hurt and confused.

"I didn't mean it that way." He sighs looking at me sorry eyes.

"I get it." I lie. I don't get it. I don't now and I don't think I ever will. I never have. Even the simplest of things such as this I never understood. As stupid as it sounds it's true.

"JuMin."

"Let's go." I say walking ahead of him once again.

"JuMin." He says again this time pulling my arm to face him. "I didn't mean it like that. And you know it." He says and his lips fall into a frown once I walk away once again.

And with that it begins to rain. "Fucking great." I curse under my breath, running my hand through my now wet hair.

"Here." JungKook hands me his jacket. And I watch as it falls onto the gravel. "Fine don't take it then. Suit yourself." He huffs picking it up before walking.

I quickly run after him. "We.." I start not sure if I want to continue my statement.

"We should find somewhere to go. The rain is going to get worse at this rate." He finishes off my thought. I mentally thank him for it.

After a few more minutes of walking through the rain we find an empty train cart once again. He climbs in first before helping me enter.

"I will call my friend that lives in DaeGu." He informs me before jumping out of the train walking away in the rain.

"Fuck." I huff. "Why do you keep doing this to me mom?" I question as I throw my head back in frustration, placing my hands over my heated face.

I don't know why I keep blaming my mother for these things that happen. I know it's wrong of me but I can't help but feel like it's her fault. If she wouldn't have died everything would be okay.I can't help but cry at the memory of my mother. Wishing she were so that I could cry on her shoulder when ever I had a problem. Like the time in 10th grade I spilled Icecream all over my dress. I thought it was the end of the world. I loved that dress. It was a strapless teal dress with sparkles all over the hems of the layers of puffs. I swear it was the prettiest thing I have ever seen. That night my mom hugged me and told me it was okay, she dried my tears and kissed my forehead before taking me to buy a new dress. Sadly the dresses like that were all sold out and I cried even harder. But she wouldn't give up, I knew she wanted to see me smile again. We looked all night searching for a new one. Just as I was ready to give up we found a new dress. A shoulderless black dress that was covered in sparkles, it hugged the sides of arms, and flares out towards the end of the dress. It was covered in sparkles. And because I told my date I couldn't attend because I ruined my dress my mother went with me. Of course I was against the idea, but it was one of the best nights of my life. One of my favorite memories. I wouldn't want to take back that day for anything.