Be Free

Do you ever just wonder what would happen if you were a different person, or if you could magically appear to be beautiful and mesmerizing, or strong and handsome to someone? Do you ever wish that you could repeat a part of your life so you don't screw yourself up again? Do you regret a decision you made a while back? What if your life would be better? What if you could just take all the pain with just a swallow of a pill or a slice through your veins? What would it feel like to actually feel  happy and live life with no regrets? What would it feel like to feel free? These are all the things that go through Avery Nelson's mind everyday of her miserable and worthless life.

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"No one understands me on this planet. I honestly don't even know my purpose on this planet. Like who the hell wants a beaten up, old, wannabe loser, who barely graduated high school?" My thoughts for the day are pretty clear for someone who had to stay up till 6:00 am trying to clean up the mess of her annoying and ruthless mother. For those who don't know, my mom has breast cancer, and she wants to live like everyday is her last, since we don't have money for actual help. Last night, she invited half of the varsity football team from my old school and she probably slept with at least seven of them. My living room is littered with red solo cups and cigarette butts. God, if someone found out about my mom's little get together... I can't really tell her to stop and get help, since our time is limited together. I don't want to spend it fighting with her. I'd rather let her enjoy it. When I was a freshman, my dad was going to get my birthday cake and balloons at the store for my birthday, and one of the balloons accidentally got in his way, and a car came and hit him right in the ribs. The doctor said there's no point, he died instantly. That's how I lost my dad. Great birthday huh? Anyways, I work for this small pastry shop down the block. No one really goes there anymore. It's owned by this old lady, who apparently 'can see into the future'. You can figure out why no one goes there. I like it because it's peaceful and it always smells nice. So kinda like an old starbucks. Get where I'm going with this? Okay, so I work everyday from six am to around nine pm. It's a long time, but who am I kidding? What would I do with all my time? I graduated high school. Err, I should say barely graduated. No money for college. Work it is. I don't mind at all. I never had a boyfriend or at least have a guy look at me. I look worse than crap. Even I wouldn't want me. I don't plan on getting married or having a family. My dad would always say to set realistic goals. My goal is to have a decent funeral for my mom, and try to keep our house for as long as I can. Back in high school, I was loud and out-going. I had a lot of friends. We shared the same interests. One of these interests was One direction. Before my mom's cancer got aggressive, she'd drive us to their hotels and sit and sing songs and wait for them to hear us. Once, just once, one of them looked through the window. I was with my best friend in the whole entire world, Vanessa, and my other relatively close model-like friend, Andrea. We were infected by the One Direction Infection and Vanessa, Andrea, and I could not be cured. Andrea is tall and skinny as a twig. Her legs are just as long as mine and she has big and beautiful brown eyes, that sparkled in the light. She had a natural glow that everyone complimented her on. Vanessa was shorter than Andrea and I. She did have long, black hair that looked like it was on fire in the light. She was the example of perfection. She too, had big brown eyes and a smile that could light up any room. Back then, I was loud and confident. I'm tall and I used to play volleyball. Everyone used to tell me that I'd make it big one day. I had blue-green eyes. Over the year's, they lost their sparkle and became lifeless and dull. My hair is blonde and my skin is pale. Definitely, not the example of perfect or model-like. I'm a screw up and I always will be. Andrea went off to college at UCLA. My dream school. Then, she got a job as a model for Victoria Secret's. Who would of thought? Vanessa became a professional dancer and she moved to New York to dance for some major Broadway show. Everyone had their dreams come true, but mine. I wanted to go to UCLA, and play volleyball. I wanted to become a model with Andrea. Anything to get me out of my small town. Guess fate decided to treat me differently. My flame had burned out. The two things that kept me together over the years are hope and my mom. I wish for my mom to get better but, that will never happen. I hope that one day, I will get out of this town and see the world. I want to go to Europe. That's my goal. I will get my modeling career back and provide my mom with the necessities and even more. All I have to do is get enough money. I have $4000. That's enough for a plane ticket. I need at least $4000 more for food and stuff. I will get that money.

"Avery! Turn on the radio!!" my mom was yelling from her bedroom. She listened to the radio constantly to hear if they're giving away anything good.

"What are they giving away this time, mom?!" I yelled just loud enough for her to hear.

"Two tickets to London, England!! First class!! Honey, this is your chance!! Call right now!!!!!!!" I panicked. Where the fuck is my phone. The radio station was on my speed dial. Okay, I'm calling.

"Avery keep calling!!! They said the winner will be chosen right after the song Oath by Cher Lloyd is over!"

My hand was shaking. I pressed the button. It was ringing!! HOLY CRAP!!!!

"The song is coming to an end!!" my mom yelled with all her energy. I run in her room and jump on her small bed. The song comes to an end. "Okay! Ladies and Gentlemen! This is the time you've waiting for. The two tickets to London to see One Direction in their last concert ever is.." (one direction is about to break up)

"Hello!!!!!!!!! What's your name?! Hello?!...... If you don't answer we will choose another caller?!"

My mom grabbed the phone. Holy Crap. This is happening, I just won.

"Hi!! my name is Abby!! My daughter just called, but she's too speechless to talk." my mom loves to embarrass me.

"Congratulations!! You just won!" The man on the radio turned on the next song and told us to wait. My mom turns to me and says, " Avery! Pack your bags we're going to London Baby!! Your dream finally came true!!" The radio dude answered the phone and told us our flight is leaving tomorrow at 4 am. There would be a limo waiting for us. My mom told me, I should go tell my boss that I'm leaving.

On the way there, a red mustang stops right next to me. Gross, it's Danielle Sanders. Last person, I'd ever want to see. She practically harassed me in high school.

"Well, Well. Heard you just won on the radio. Good for you, little Ms. Charity Case. Just kill yourself already. Your saving me an ugly image to stare at." I was not going to let her stand here and take it.

"You know what? I'm tired of your bullshit. I've hated you for so long. Now, I'll be in London enjoying One Direction's last concert and where will you be? Oh yeah. That's right. Right here? Good bye Bitch." I walked away with last word that felt good. I haven't felt this confident since freshman year. Let's hope it lasts, and I get my modeling job.