just a girl

Untitled Part 1

The thing is, she didn't want any kids. She'd told me before that she didn't like them... she could only handle them for short periods of time before she got tired of them. the only reason she even agreed to having one was for him. He wanted three, at least one boy in the mix and he'd be happy. They only made it up to two girls because she was lonely and they thought why not. Almost as if they were pet turtles that might die before it all got too annoying.

Weird start to being born... almost the saddest thing you could imagine, being the thing that ensures a wedding. Even worse is being told. Imagine your mother saying she never wanted children but she wanted to marry your father so much that she'd get knocked up. What a commitment to an act- being the loving mother until one day you snap or something and this slips out.

"I didn't want you or your sister, but I really wanted your father and you guys were the only way it was going to happen."

It's almost a Grecian tragedy... or comedy, depends on what one may find funny or heart breaking. Sadly, enough this was never the worst thing done or said to our girl... already incredibly tragic.

When she was younger her father doted on her, he was in love with being a family- he had his wife and a baby girl. Perfect. Then two years later the other one popped out, same milky skin and brown eyes. They were different, but they fell from the same tree.

They grew up close and loved each other, and eventually that changed as it does with sisters. She was tall and thick built with long dark curly hair, and the young one short and thin with light brown hair that shone red in the light that barely held a wave in it. But they still had milky skin and dark brown eyes.

The mother became a workaholic while the father would pick the girls up from school, he was there when they were getting ready for bed and always made sure they had food before five. Sometimes he would even drop them off at the bus stop but that was usually the mother's job, almost a fifteen-minute drive and she was gone till the next morning or the weekend.

They were both nurses. They both worked hard and tried their best to make sure that their daughters had everything they needed and a lot of what they wanted. Some days both would be at work so late that at school, when they were the last ones there waiting with a teacher at almost sun down, the girls would panic. Who wants to find out they were orphaned at school? No one. But every day they were there, whether it be on time or late, the girls always went home.

It was about the time when the oldest girl was six years old that certain things started to happen. Their parents would leave them at grandma's house every summer all day almost every day and so would their cousins. It was always a full house but it was a fun house. But one day a cousin was in a room on the bed waiting for her. Just sitting there and he said he wanted to talk, nothing serious, just a talk... on his lap.

See the girl was extremely trusting and didn't think anything of it, it was her older cousin! What would he do? The boy was about fifteen years old at this time and they all spent every summer together so she saw nothing wrong with being with him. It wasn't like the door could lock and everyone was in the next room. So, she went over to him. Then he asked her to sit on his lap for their little talk, and she did. It was beginning to get a little weird, but she didn't worry.

"for our talk I want you to raise your hands."

Weird request but she did and he proceeded to rub her stomach as he talked. She wasn't paying attention since she was so focused on his hands as the slid higher. She started to cry when his hands found what they were looking for.