I Have Measured My Life in Coffee Spoons (Re-Submitted)

Not Actually a Door, Not Actually a Man

“It smells beastly down here,”

They stumbled blindly through the dark, Casper’s flashlight aimed at the rocky ground, making sure they didn't trip.

“Your secret tunnel, not mine,”

Sophie winced as she hit her head on the low ceiling, letting out a colorful curse. She was well under 5”3, so she couldn’t have imagined what Casper must be going through. He towered over her.

Not that I really care anyways. She reassured herself. The man needed some serious mental help, maybe a hit on the noggin would help him.

Sophie felt something slither across her toes.

Letting out a high-pitched shriek, she practically jumped into Casper, scrambling away from her previous position.

“Hey, Hey! What’s wrong?” Casper shone the flashlight in her direction.

“Something crawled on me,” she said through clenched teeth, still leaning on him.

She saw him roll his eyes. “What happened to ‘Not scared of anything?’” he quirked an eyebrow.

“Down the rabbit-hole, just like us. Now can we keep moving? I want to get as far away from that thing as I can,”

“It was probably just a snake,” he said, pulling her forward again, flashlight illuminating their way.

“How do you know it was just a snake? Maybe it was a gooey, radioactive snake that’ll give me some weird strain of foot cancer that kills me in fifteen minutes,”

“Snakes aren’t gooey,”

“What if this one was? What if it was some kind of ancient, pre-historic creature living in the depths of London, feeding off of sewage and gum wrappers, just waiting in the dark, spending the end of its days waiting to-“

“Slither across young ladies toes?”He chuckled

“Are you laughing at me?” Sophie scoffed

“Can you hear yourself? What do you put in that coffee of yours? I think the people you’re buying sugar from are secretly crack dealers and switched the packets,” he laughed.

“Oh, aren't you hilarious. My explanation is perfectly plausible, thank you very much,”

“In what world?” his giggles died out and Sophie realized they were holding hands.

When did that happen? She thought,

Weird.

She didn’t free her hand though, partly because she couldn’t navigate by herself, and that she was worried that pre-historic snake-thing would show up again, and also; because she didn’t want to. Not really. So that makes it more like a three-part partly.

The two had lapsed into silence, nothing but the drops of water from the ceiling and the seemingly endless tunnel.

After quite a few minutes, Casper spoke, voice echoing through the tiny corridor.

“It’s more like a Greek labyrinth, you know”

“Excuse me?”

“My ego, it’s like a labyrinth; Large, and complicated. Full of twisty passageways, dark secrets and dusty corners.”

“With a Minotaur at the center?” Sophie said, trying not to laugh, he really is a nutter.

He turned around and grinned at her, half of his face illuminated by his flashlight.