Our lifes have many different chapters, and all sorts of changes. To be precise, our life changes so frequent, and just as a little river flows past forests and mountains, our life is constantly moving alongside everyone. Those changes that are going to be brought up to us are gonna be difficult to handle. People will betray us, people will let us down, people will laugh at us, and life will treat us as hard as it can. Sometimes we would feel that all we need is some time alone, and some peace and quiet. But in reality even though its hard to leave an open heart, we need to let go and open up to the people closest to us. But what are you gonna do when reality starts to failing you? What are you gonna do when all those years of trying to build up a truly formidable and elegant character are being tossed to the ground like you are nothing more and nothing less than a hooker belonging to someone rich? What are you gonna do when despite all your knowledge, and despite all your power, your elegant personality, and despite your kindness, you start begging for some mercy? Life is never kind and life will never close your eyes to the reality you exist in. Can you truly change your reality? Or is everything you have done all those years now deemed worthless and insignificant to society? Nobody can answer these questions better than you, and no one can help you more than yourself. Most of all though we need to find ourselves and be honest with it. There's no point in fooling anyone and most of all no point in fooling ourselves by trying to convince us that we are happy or that we don't like the changes that are constantly being brought up. In order to escape that haunting feeling of loneliness and bitterness, we have to find that something that truly makes us happy. No friends, no relationships, no sports, nothing at all. Just making our self happy by being honest and simple. And that's the whole point to it anyway. No matter what we do and no matter where we go, in the end we are nothing more than mere humans. Mere beings with the ability to think, to fight, to create art, to discover, and to love. Sometimes we need nothing more than just being simple and kind. But yes. Sometimes everyone needs sometime on their own. Whether you aim high or aim low you are evolving. Time is precious so use it wisely. You can do amazing things. Your goals are achievable. You can win the love of your life. Its so difficult for me to comprehend that a person like me, someone so mentally and emotionally destroyed and corrupted can give advice, and can give hope to everyone in need. I have stayed hours by the phone talking to friends who needed me. I have given countless advises and I have solved many problems that my friends used to undergo. Its not that I don't enjoy helping others or that I am not amused by watching them react to me helping them. I'm just sick and tired of everything and anyone. Every day, from the moment we wake up until we fall asleep it's the same crap. We use up all of our time and put all of our effort to help somebody, either directly or indirectly. Why do you think people go to school, go to the army, go to study, get married, and live the way they do now?! If you narrow our lifes down its for the sake of helping humanity thrive and succeed. Well I don't want to be part of this, and im sick and tired of people telling me how to live my life. I'm sick of people trying to make me a part of the humanity we now exist in. Thinking back, I was never the kid who got involved in the typical life of a normal person. I used to like video games more than going out. I used to like training and developing my body more than people. Throughout my life, people have called me, dumb, shy, ignorant, naive, immature, antisocial, crazy, psychopath, brutal, socially awkward. Maybe its because I like ninjas, knights, Bruce lee, and a quiet book, more than a cool club, a girlfriend, going drunk, and a cool movie. In my life I have acquired many things, and I have lost equivalently as much. After the age of 18 I realized that humanity is slowly trying to drift me apart from my goals and make me a part of the mindless masses that inhabit this world. I miss the times when everything was simple. When the girl I liked was being an idiot at school. Or when I had a tough time reading and relaxing at the same time. I miss having my hair as long as I like, I miss trying to read a book without anyone commenting on the context of the book. I miss listening to the songs I like without any grand brand name corporation making me listen to anything else. I miss enjoying my days, I miss being my self, and most of all I miss my freedom. That's why I want to be the strongest man alive. I know that I am not the smartest person that exists. I know that even though I'm strong I have a long way to go, both physically and mentally. Then how can I become the strongest person alive? There are people stronger than me, smarter than me, faster than me, more skilled than me. But guess what. I am me. No one is ever going to tell me my capabilities and nobody is going to forcibly stop me from becoming something better, from becoming stronger. But to do that, I am gonna need to find my freedom. What does freedom mean to me? Is it the feeling I am going to get when my crush falls for me? Is it when I become a martial arts champion? Is it when I'm gonna be a famous lawyer? Or is it gonna be my success in financial and social levels?
No. My freedom is decided by how many things I am gonna leave behind. I wanna live. I wanna go to places no one has ever been to. I want to train so hard that my joints will hurt and my knuckles will bleed. I want to fight people and gain experience. I Want to study to my hearts content and be so smart that people will envy me. I want to live with no regrets about my past, and even if I do, I want to live to the fullest so that one day I can face my mistakes face to face, and say for certain that I have succeeded in overcoming every obstacle there is, and hence correcting every mistake I did.
I'm slowly realizing that I am growing older. Even if I live thousand years, people and situations around me will always change. I will never get another chance with anybody, and if I start making excuses about how I can't currently do what I like because of this and that, then the game is over. So excuse me if I am going to be rude, and excuse me if I'm not the person I used to be last year. But in order for me to survive is to adapt. But I won't adapt like all the others. I will not move along the flow of society. I will adapt to withstand the attempts anyone will make in order for me to be a normal human. Because we are all trying to live our lifes to the fullest. we keep on fighting and trying to help humanity thrive and adapt to our needs. But in reality we are the ones kneeling down to humanity. Humanity is rotten to the core, and humans are the only ones capable of saving it. Along the way, we started fighting for humanity, we defended it and we bled our hearts out for humanity to exceed god's expectations and become something more. Something more advanced and civilized. Yet, we forgot one thing. We always were and will always be just humans. In order to help humanity to succeed we need to focus on individual creations and evolution, not massive adaptation and proclamation. Eventually what's better? A huge pack of mentally retarded wolfs hiding under a shield they made after years of trying? Or a moderate squad of eagles that fly throughout the sky ready to kill their prey via their individually enhanced senses? I am gonna leave everyone to decide, but honestly I am gonna live my life as an eagle. And not because of anything else. I'm just tired of all the bullshit.
