Here's One From the Heart

IX

I was in shock, to say the least.

From the night I had met with Rayne at the bar, my suspicions of nothing more than a professional relationship was confirmed.

Or so I thought.

Rayne's introducing me to Sydney - I thought - was her way of telling me there was no interest in me whatsoever, and that our relationship was strictly work-oriented.

That's why I had taken to Sydney so quick. She was attractive, and I was certain I wouldn't be hurting Rayne in anyway. Plus, on top of all that, I was heartbroken, to say the least. I didn't want the stench of sadness lurking around with me, so I took to Sydney as soon as I could.

She was an easy target, too, according to the notches on her belt, anyways. In retrospect, that should've been a warning.

"I can't believe you!" Rayne shouted, her voice getting closer. "I'm done-"

I backed away from the door just in time. The door swung open, revealing her distraught face. My eyes darted from the floor, straight to her deep, brown eyes - which seemed to be darker than usual as she continued to fill with anger. I watched as tears began to well up in her eyes.

Seconds later, she pushed past me and rushed down the stairs. I debated for a moment, whether to follow her, or check on Sydney.

I had made my mind up before she had even reached the last step. Trudging down the stairs, my attention was turned to a door opening behind me.

"Baby!" Sydney cried, "Where are you going?"

I stared blankly at her for a moment, turning back and continuing down the steps to make up for the seconds I had lost.

By the time I had finally caught up to Rayne, she had already made her way to the main doors. I grabbed hold of her wrist gently, spinning her around to face me. Her face was tearstained; mascara running down her cheeks.

"Rayne," I whispered, pulling her body against mine and holding her trembling skin close. "I-I..."

I had so much to say to her, but I wasn't sure how to - or even if I could - say it to her. I've dug myself too deep, I wasn't sure I could escape.

"Don't do this to me," my voice had nearly broken by now. "You can't do this to me. Not like this. Not right now."

I grasped her hand a little tighter then, hoping to get my point across without the words that I wanted to say, but just wouldn't come out. I needed her in my life, and it only hit me now, how much I truly did.

"Jakub," she shouted, jerking her hands from my grasp. "What difference would it make if I were here or not right now?"

I stood there silently, staring at the ground. I refused to look up and stare her in the eye, in fear a tear would fall.

"Hm?" She growled, her breathing growing heavy and shaky. "That's what I thought."

"Wait," I muttered, immediately regretting my choice as soon as the word escaped my mouth.

"What, Jakub? What could you possibly say for fix all this?"

I knew I couldn't leave her like that for the second time, so I closed the gap she had made between us, and gently ran my hand against her cheek. As I was about to silently bring her lips to mine, she backed away.

"No," she mumbled, barely above a whisper.

"Sorry?" I raised a brow at her.

"No!" She cried, her voice breaking completely. "You can't just play me like this, Jakub. You can't go out with my best friend, find out the truth, then come crawling back to me. Life doesn't work like that, asshole. You think because you're a big-shot hockey player, the world revolves around you! Some girls may think so, but I sure as hell don't. I bet you've never even come across a girl with the slightest ounce of self-respect, because every girl you've met wouldn't hesitate to jump in bed with you. But not me, Jakub. I cared too much for you; a guy whom I hardly even know, for what feels like a lifetime. And now, I sure as shit won't be your second choice. Go to hell!"

I continued to stand there silently. She stood before me for a few moments longer, before turning around and storming off outside.

Even if I had worked up the courage to say what I really wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to get a word in, anyways.

I wanted to tell her she was beautiful; and how much she means to me. How everything she said about me, I felt for her, too. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I had to get to know her. If only she knew how much useless Caps gear I bought, just to get the opportunity to talk to her.

She was my everything, yet she had no idea. If I could take this all back, I would.

All the things I could've said to her in that moment, and now I'll never get the opportunity...