Her Other Half [WiP - On Pause 🙏 ]

Left at the Door Step

We were told to stay in the hospital for the night, under observation. The doctor told me Amber's pediatrician had been informed and would be coming in the following morning with a specialist to talk to me. The young doctor said more tests would probably be ordered, including scans and MRI to eliminate the possibility of a tumor. The more the doctor talked, the more upsetting he had become to me. I let out a sigh of relief after he excused himself and left to go back to his post.

When everything had calmed down ... when my heart had calmed down, and I was sure Amber was asleep in her bed, I called my husband to let him know about the situation.

He was on a business trip, and he was exactly three hours ahead of us. He wasn't happy I woke him up in the most unpleasant hour. He wasn't any happier when I told him of the distressing news. He cut the call short and told me he'd take the earliest flight back in the morning. I couldn't tell if he was upset because of what's happening to Amber, or because he didn't want to come back to San Francisco.

The tremendous amount of stress kept me awake all night. My mind was driving as fast as I was on that freeway. I recounted everything I've done from the time Amber arrived to us to the seconds as she slept soundly on that hospital bed. What could I do to help her get through this? What could I have done to avoid it?

From the beginning, my husband believed it was a bad idea to adopt Amber. We've been trying to have a baby for a long time, but was never successful. Largely, I was to blame with my shortcomings— always bearing an empty sac.

One night, our doorbell rang and found a new born baby left at our front door. My husband wanted to call 911 and surrender the child to authorities, but I refused.

I argued the money and the trouble it was going to cost us, when we could wait a few more hours in case the parents change their minds and come back for the baby. I appealed to him that if the parents don't come back, I'll personally drive the child to social services.  He eventually agreed, and ran to a 24-hour Walgreens to get a baby formula and some diapers.

We fed the baby, kept her comfortable while we barely slept looking after her. Surprisingly, she was well-behaved. No peep, no tear. She was quietly content all night. Morning came, but nobody claimed her. I called in sick at work to wait for her parents the entire day. Still nobody came.

When my husband arrived from work, and found me nursing the child, I recognized the disappointment in his face. He was hoping I had given up the child by then. He didn't have to say anything. I knew. I just knew.

He packed a bag. Told me to dress up. A whole day had gone by and waiting that long was bad enough. He said he didn't want to be accused of kidnapping. Reluctantly, I complied. We were so caught up with ourselves that we we were oblivious to what was happening outside.