My Thugly Love

Move On

2 years later....

I buckled Haley up in her car seat and closed the door I got in the driver's seat and started the car.

"Mommy,where going?" Haley asked in her little baby voice.

I had had her after Hakeem was taken into custody. I didn't know I was pregnant at the time but I was. She knows he's in jail sometimes she cries saying she wants her daddy. At those times, I cry myself. I miss him so much.

"We're going to go see daddy."

"Yayy! Me miss daddy," she answered, clapping.

I smiled; she was always excited to see him. These 2 years went by sooo fast. Haley's the only thing that kept me moving forward. She's my world now. She looks just like him. Same hazel brown eyes. Same smile. Same everything. She's a constant reminder of what I had lost, but always what I gained.

"Yes, baby girl. I'm sure daddy misses you too," I said, pulling out of the driveway.

"Mommy, when daddy gonna leave wit' us?"

That was the question she always asked. It was always hard to answer. Hakeem had been sentenced to 20 years in prison but it had been knocked down to 14 for good behavior.

I couldn't say 12 more years, baby. That would crush her.

"Soon," was all I could say.

After 3 hours driving, I arrived at the prison. I got a sleeping Haley out the car and carried her into the building. Once we got through all the security checks, we went into the visiting room.

"Ma'am, who are you here to see?" one of the guards asked me.

"Hakeem Bullings."

The guard nodded and headed towards the back. Hakeem came walking out moments later.

"Hey, baby," he greeted, hugging me.

"Hey babe." I hugged him tight.

"DADDY!" Haley screamed when she awoke. She jumped from my arms, into his.

"Hey, baby girl. Daddy missed you so much," Hakeem said, sitting in a chair and sitting her in his lap.

"Me miss you too daddy. Mommy miss you too. Daddy guess what!"

Hakeem chuckled and asked, "What?"

"My birthday is in... 1...3...5...9...15. 15 more days daddy!"

"Awwww that's cute but it's in 4 days baby girl. What you want for your birthday?"

Haley paused and played with Hakeem hands with her little fingers. She finally said, "I want you to come home daddy."

I put my head down as a tear began to form in my eye. My poor baby.

Hakeem sighed and looked at her. "I'm sorry baby but daddy can't."

Haley started to tear up. "B-but why not daddy?"

"I just can't, okay? I'm sorry."

"Otay."

I wiped my tear and looked up at Hakeem who was gazing me with those big beautiful eyes.

"You found anyone, yet?" he asked me.

"What?" I shot back confused.

"You found a man, Layla?"

"No! And I'm not looking! I only want you, Keem."

He sighed and replied, "Look,baby, I'm gonna be here for a long time. I don't want you to tie yourself down and turn again other men for me. I'm locked up. You gotta move on."

Tears began flowing down my cheeks as I listened to his words. I didn't wanna move on.

"Hakeem, I can't. You're all I think about. it's hard."

"I know it's hard but I love you and I don't wanna see you like this."

"I love you too Hakeem Bullings. And that will never change."

He smiled and leaned over and kissed me. I kisses back. Move on? I don't think so.