Kate Beckett: Welcome to reality, superstar.
Richard Castle: Well, I never did much like reality.
Kate Beckett: He's like a nine year old on a sugar rush. Totally incapable of taking anything seriously.
Richard Castle: Yeah, and you always come to a complete stop at a red light and you never fudge your taxes. Tell me something, you ever have any fun? You know, let your hair down, drop your top, little "Cops Gone Wild"?
Kate Beckett: You do know I'm wearing a gun?
[Castle is shown photos of crime scenes modeled after his novels]
Richard Castle: "Flowers for Your Grave."
Kate Beckett: And this is how we found Marvin Fisk, right out of "Hell Hath No Fury."
Richard Castle: Looks like I have a fan.
Kate Beckett: Yeah, a really deranged fan.
Richard Castle: Oh, you don't look deranged to me.
Kate Beckett: [taken aback] What?
Richard Castle: "Hell Hath No Fury"? Angry Wiccans out for blood? Come on. Only hardcore Castle groupies read that one.
[Beckett realizes Castle stole documents about the Tisdale and Fisk murders]
Kate Beckett: Richard Castle, you are under arrest for felony theft and obstruction of justice.
Richard Castle: You forgot making you look bad.
Kate Beckett: You know, for a minute there, you actually made me believe that you were human. Cuff him.
Richard Castle: Ooh, bondage. My safe word is "apples."
Kate Beckett: [to the cops cuffing Castle] Oh, there's no need to be gentle.
Richard Castle: How'd you find me, anyway?
Kate Beckett: I'm a detective. That's what I do.
Richard Castle: My mother told you, didn't she?
Kate Beckett: Mr. Castle, you've got quite a rap sheet for a best-selling author. Disorderly conduct, resisting arrest.
Richard Castle: [shrugs shoulders innocently] Boys will be boys.
Kate Beckett: [smiles sarcastically] It says here you stole a police horse.
Richard Castle: Borrowed.
Kate Beckett: Ah! And you were nude at the time.
Richard Castle: It was spring.
Kate Beckett: [angrily] And every time, the charges were dropped.
[drops folder on table]
Richard Castle: What can I say? The mayor's a fan. But if it makes you feel any better, I'd be happy to let you spank me.
Richard Castle: Can I get copies of those?
Kate Beckett: [confused] Copies?
Richard Castle: I have this poker game. Mostly other writers. Patterson, Cannell. You know, bestsellers. You have no idea how jealous these would make them.
