You only have one

2. Meeting Him

Since, it's summer me and Adam are spending all day moving the stuff that I need into his house. I stand up straight after putting a box full of books down wiping my forehead with the back of my hand. I look around the big room taking in the appearance of it.

There is a huge desk in the corner, there is a vanity against the far wall from the bed, there is a book shelf in the corner next to closet door, the bed is queen sized, it has bright red sheets on it, that contrast well with the black walls of the room. There is one final thing in the room, it's a door that leads to a bathroom that connects this room, and another one.

I take a deep breath before heading back down stairs, and getting all of my art stuff. I carry it back up the large stair case as Adam follows me up with my bathroom stuff, since he just got off the phone with the hospital he's supposed to start at soon. I put my stuff down on the desk, and nod at Adam as I leave the room to go grab more stuff.

Around three hours later I have all of my stuff in the room, and unpacked. I look at my makeup spread out across the vanity realizing how much I actually have. I just sigh and climb onto the bed with my favorite blanket that I brought from home.

I curl up with it as Adam yells up the stairs "What do you want for dinner?!" I think for a moment then yell back "Pizza!" I say knowing that he knows my favorite, since it was also my aunt's. I curl up further trying to knock the thoughts of her out of my mind. I can't think about her, it'll just make the cruelness of the world hurt even more.

I rock back and forth trying to contain my feelings, I know that Adam doesn't need anymore added stress. A few tears slip from my eyes and I sigh wiping them. I can't do this, crying doesn't solve anything, it just makes you look weak. I curl up further so that if anyone comes in they won't be able to see my tear stained face.

I run my hand through my hair. Maybe moving in with Adam was a mistake. I don't know, I just don't know. I decide to make video diary, and I get up walking over to my bag. I pull out my camcorder and set it up on the desk and sit on my bed.

"I don't know why life is so cruel. It's like no matter how good you are life comes back to bite you in the ass." I say and sigh looking away from the camera for a moment.

"It pisses me off so much, because I have tried so hard to do nothing but be a good person. Yet, all I get is shitty stuff happening to me. My aunt didn't deserve what happened to her, she was the kindest, most gentle soul you could ever meet, and now she's laying in a casket six feet in the ground." I take a deep breath pausing for a moment.

"It's unfair, I don't care what people say about god needing another angel. He could have had anyone else on earth, why my aunt? I mean I'm not religious, but she was. So, I guess I have to think about this that way for her. I know that if god is real, my aunt is going to heaven." I mumble and run my fingers through my hair like I had moments before.

"It just doesn't make sense. The universe puts you through peril after peril, and no matter how well you deal with them. No matter how much of a good fucking person you are, you still get torn apart in the end." I say and shake my head gently as I get up and turn of the camcorder. I sigh softly. I know I'll never let anyone ever see that. It's too personal, if my aunt was here I would let her see it though.

I get off of my bed walking to the vanity, peering into the mirror at myself. I wipe under my eyes and grab some moisturizer rubbing it over my face to help with the patchiness from me crying.  I walk downstairs after my face is completely back to it's normal shade of pale.

As I'm walking downstairs I toss my fiery hair into a messy bun some of the strands falling into my face. I just shrug not really caring. I walk over to the couch and tickle the back of Adam's neck surprising him. He laughs quietly and shrieks. I shake my head a tiny smile breaking out across my face, until I realize that one day he'll be gone too.