i honestly dont know why but im so sad and so disgusted with myself.
it has been like this for ever since i could remember. i struggle with self love and acceptance every day.
I have perfected the ability to hide my emotions so well. I could be crumbling inside but i'll have a big smile on my face.
Whenever I come home I just feel this overwhelming sadness take over me.
when i eat i am disgusted with that because i feel so fat and chubby and ugly (even though there's nothing wrong with being that) that i want to starve myself but i never go through with it.
i feel so weak and i hate myself for having thoughts like this.
idk I just feel stuck in a really bad place right now and I don't know what to do with myself.
i remind myself everyday that every difficult situation is not my final destination. However, I've been in this predicament for a long time and I would like to know what true happiness is.
my tears are always streaming and my hands rubbing my face raw. my mom and i are always arguing. my dad and i are always on each others last nerve. I just feel unloved worthless and lost from my destiny in life.
Like my life was all in vain.
I just want a way out of this dark hole I've put myself into. out of this repetitive cycle of loneliness and crying.
