Let's Get Lost

Part II

It was close to midnight about the time Lera told me she wasn't coming anymore. That's when I started feeling sick, suddenly it wasn't fun anymore. I felt vulnerable and afraid, I simply wanted to be alone. I took refuge in the bedroom, making a comfortable place for me to stay in the corner. That was my domain and I was fine with being alone. Everyone was in the other room dancing and having a merry time while I felt like I couldn't. My escape was the window and from where I sat I was looking at a different view of things. My brain went on over drive but the small breeze kept me centered and looking outside I wasn't afraid anymore.

"Tumi," I heard Baggio's voice say from across the room. But it didn't sound the same as a few hours ago, his eyes didn't look the same either, they were nearly shut, his blinking was slow. And from the way he slurred his words I knew he was drunk, I wasn't comfortable around him anymore, but that's not the reason, the reason comes a couple of minutes beforehand.

I'm exiting the ensuite bathroom connected to the bedroom and I'm feeling unsettled by the thought of sleeping at a place where I knew no one. That's when I feel lost and nothing or no one could make me feel better. I find Baggio standing outside the door when I walk out, the bedroom is dark and the only light there is comes from the bathroom door that is slightly opened. "Are you okay?" He asks and I say I'm fine.
"You're lying." He says and moves closer towards me and my back is against the wall. I can't understand why he reads me so well. "Please don't lie to me. What's wrong?" I can hear the rational side of him talking to me but the look in his eyes screams something different.

I swallow hard, he is towering over me and I'm looking for ways to move away from him. I don't like feeling trapped. "I'm not lying, I'm fine. I'm just tired." I say, and I know I'm not convincing. He leans his head against me and sighs. "Tumi I like you. I've been looking at you the whole night and I like you. Please don't be scared of me."

He moves in to kiss me and I look away, now I want to go. His breath is thick with alcohol and I'm petrified, I'd seen movies and this never ends well for the girl. I didn't want to be that girl. I push him away and he doesn't budge. I don't like the vibe he is giving me and I'm getting mad.

"Can you move back a bit, you are like heavy on my space." I say, trying to keep my composure and I look him in the eyes and he doesn't look like the guy I wanted to be around me. I don't want him near me anymore. He tries lp kiss me again and I tell him I don't want to kiss him and he asks me why.

"You're scaring me." I tell him he stares at me a few then says all too casually.

"Okay."

And his whole body moves away from me and he is no longer leaning towards me and I feel a lightness come over me when his entire energy moves away from me. I am releaved when he leaves and disappointed that he did. I am disappointed that I couldn't make him stay the way I wanted him to stay with me and talk to me but I can't stand the sight of him like that so its best he goes. And I creep back to my corner where I sit and stare outside and the emptiness of the streets and the soundless commotion is a reflection of how I'm feeling inside.

Then lights on I'm staring at Baggio again, this time in a different light, standing there and his presence comforts me. "Come let's go that side and get lit." He says and I shake my head.

"I'm fine here thanks."

He walks over the mattress placed between the two beds on the floor, and sits on the bed next to my corner. I look at him and he asks for my phone and starts taking pictures. I'm struck by how his deamour shifts so easily and I can't read him, I simply can't figure him out. He slides down and sits beside me, switching off my phone and hands it to me. We are talking when someone calls him, he holds up a finger to the person. He takes out his phone and tells me to hold it and so I do and he stands up, whispering in my ear "I'll be back beautiful." He says and I feel like telling him to stay but I let him go.