Red Hearted Desire

Part 3

(This section will be told from Raph's perspective for sake of impact)

I ran home as fast as I could, there was no way I would ever be able to hide this from Sensei! I had to tell him before he sees and thinks I tried to get away with it. I stumble into the lair, tumbling over my own feet I enter the dojo to find Splinter meditating.

"Sensei...I've done something terrible..." I kneel, with my head low with shame. I could feel his cold glare burning through me; the guilt on my face must be so obvious right now.

"What is it, my son?"

"I..." I loose my words in my throat when I hear the guys clambering to get to Donnie's lab. Bawling my hands into tight fist, I force out the words. "I hurt Leo. I hurt him real bad Sensei." My words choke me as I force back the salty droplets in my eyes. "I-I don't know what came over me...I just..."

He silences me by raising his hand. "You let your anger get the better of you again, Raphael. Perhaps it best you remain home to learn control while everyone is away."

I didn't dare argue, I stabbed my brother. I simply remain staring at the ground until he dismisses me, the disappointment in his voice ringing in my ears. I avoid eye contact with Mikey as he watches me hurry off to my room. 

Collapsing on my bed I cover my ears at the sound of Leo's cries. Donnie must be taking out my sai now...I've never heard him scream like that. I groan at myself. I really am a horrible brother. 

I've been sitting in my room for a couple hours now hunched up in a corner trying to block out the noise from Leo, it hurt even more hearing him in pain like that. I can hear Mikey ushering Leo to his room to rest, I notice Donnie's door latched which means he's already in his room. Master Splinter's voice is muffled but I can clearly make out him telling Mikey to head to his room. I put my ear to my door trying to hear more but all I hear is Mikey's door open then latch as he pulls it shut, meaning Splinter is in Leo's room. I move to  my wall and press my ear against it, Donnie's room is closest to the stairs, then Mikey's, Leo's, and finally mine. I manage to pick up a few things but not enough to make anything out. I quickly give up on eves-dropping on them and plop down on my hammock, swinging slightly while I wait for the two to finish their conversation and Splinter to leave.

It didn't take long I guess, because Leo's door just clicked and I could hear Splinter's foot steps make their way down the stairs. I wait for a few more minutes until I know for sure that no one will see me. Silently, I make my way to Leo's room, careful to muffle the click of the door knobs.

Lowering my voice to below a whisper I make an attempt to get my older brother's attention. "H-Hey, Leo. Are you awake?"

I wince as he clicks his tongue, his irritation and pain biting at him too much for comfort. "What do you want Raph." He demands, wincing as he forces himself to sit up. I quickly but gently push him back down and kneel next to his bedside.

"I..." I sigh, "I just wanted to know if you were okay." I rub my arm nervously. "I didn't mean to hurt ya. I don't know why I snapped like that."

He huffs, "Just go to bed, Raph." curling up he avoids having anything to do with what I have to say to him. I lean my head against the side of his bed, curling my fingers into a fist again.

"Does it still hurt?"

"I said go, Raph."

"Master Splinter said I'm staying here...."

"I know."

"So...are you happy you get a break from me?"

"Just go."

I sigh, reaching my hand up over the side of the bed and gently touching his wrist. Without hesitation he jerks his hand away.

"Raph, just get out."

Frowning, I force myself to my feet and head for the door, but not before catching a glimpse of the bloody gauze wrapped around his shoulder and forearm making me want to leave even faster.

I pause at the door and open my mouth, trying to force the words to come. "I-"

"Raph."

"...." I grab the knob tightly, twisting it carefully and silencing it's click. "...sorry..."