Would You Rather...?

THE LEATHER BELT

WOULD NOT RECCOMEND READING UNLESS UNDER THE CASE OF EXTREME BOEDOM.

The leather belt is used to hold up one's trousers.  It is an extraordinary invention created from pieces of leather sewn together and a belt buckle, just the right size to fit through the round loops on your jeans (which, by the way, are about to fall off).  Created in the Bronze Age, this handy tool used in clothing for both men and women has since become a very common appliance.  Since then, the earliests belts, made from animal fur and/or hide have evolved into studded leather belts of all the colors and designs people could imagine.  Today, nine out of every ten people have used a belt or belt-like appliance at least five times during their lives, either for work or fashion (unless they just had really lose pants...).  However, belts are not always used to better peoples’ lives.  In fact, belts are prohibited in prisons around the world due to their use of escape, suicidal uses, or as weapons towards other prisoners. The leather belt was an exciting invention for everyone when it came out, it was used much in the 1900s, yet not everyone uses them (yes, Mr. Gangster, I’m referring to you).  There are also many different types of leather belts that have been created recently.

The day the leather belt was invented, the whole world stopped to rejoice.  No more itchy, unfashionable fur belts creating sweat and smell that caused disease!  No more animal fur being wasted on a waist accompance! No more adjusting that stupid, annoying piece of garbage that you sold your whole wheat crop for but doesn’t even work!  No more!  Parties were being held around the world, people were celebrating everywhere.  Yet, the leather belt caused an outright riot.  People everywhere were also committing murder, thievery, and were fighting over this invention!  However, don’t get too disgusted.  The leather belt was still an exciting invention for everyone, and the uproar eventually died down over the next three hundred years.

The leather belt was most in use during the 1900s.  During 1900 to 1910, it was used mainly for skirt/blouse combinations by women.  Also during that time period. and up until the first world war, the leather belt was decorative as well as a utilitarian part of the uniform, particularly among officers.  In the armed forces of Prussia, Tsarist Russia, and other Eastern European nations, it was common for officers to wear extremely tight, wide belts around the waist on the outside of their uniforms.  This drew in the waistemphasizing the wide shoulders and pouting chest.  These were also used to support a sword.  Before the 1920s, the leather belt served mostly a decorative purpose.  Belt loops were invented in 1922, increasing the number of leather belts sold worldwide.

Unfortunately, many people believe leather belts have no use.  There are a number of men who think it is “attractive” to wear their pants so that the seat is below their buttox line.  If you are one of those people, kindly pull your pants up.  If they keep falling down, buy a belt.  (You can get one in Target for ten bucks!  It’s really not that hard!)  Despite what those certain people think, no one  thinks to themselves, after standing behind you in the Stop and Shop grocery line, “Oh!  What a lovely buttcrack!  That amazing person just made my day!”  In fact, many people, in that situation, feel bad for that poor misguided person in front of them.  “That poor person.  Maybe I should buy them a belt.”  No. Policemen have traced the practice of “sagging” to many criminal gangs, and, as I have mentioned beforehand, they are now forbidden inside jails across the world.  Hopefully, these people will eventually understand the sanitary needs of the citizens around them and better the world by taking one simple action- pulling up their pants and purchasing a leather belt.

Leather belts are now very important in the modern day society.  Belts take up a vast percentage of the money collected from clothing stores.  They shape the economy, even though most take their hard work for granted.  For example, without these important articles of clothing, the military would be in a state of upright mess.  What would hold up the soldiers weapons in a ready-for-action position?  What would support the water canteens and other very important military supplies when a backpack becomes too heavy or too bulky?  Maybe most importantly, what else would support the weight of the cloth the soldiers use to camouflage?  Also, the belt has developed into an everyday object of use.  Without it, businessmen and businesswomen, construction workers, painters, engineers, and scientists would not have a way of supporting their pants while working.  Even the president of the United States wears a leather belt, how could he speak his speeches in front of the population with his pants falling down?

Since the 1900s, belts have evolved into pieces of leather that are of use everywhere around the world.  They are now made in almost every color on the human eyesight palette.  One specialized type of belt is the utility belt or Police duty belt, which includes pockets for carrying items that the wearer needs for prompt use and loops to hang larger items. Police officers, soldiers, and repair personnel are typical roles which use this kind of belt.  Another is the studded belt, typically made of leather or similar materials and decorated with metal studs. Studded belts are often a part of punk/emo scene, skater, Goth and metal fashion.  The obi is traditionally part of a Japanese kimono.  In modern day society, the leather belt has acquired an important role.  Today, the leather belt continues to be a well-used appliance in the modern day world.

I WROTE THIS BECAUSE STARLITFIRE ASKED ME TO.  I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A JOKE.