Drifting

oh my stress

Jackson provided the perfect summary for this chapter. lol

Finding myself alone once again, I decided to mingle with the crowd.

Well, at least try to.

It was pretty pitiful.

I was never much of a people person.

And I couldn't help but feel out of place as I walked past people who had achieved more fame than I could ever hope to have.

I don't belong here.

With my eyes glued to my feet, I shyly tried to maneuver through the crowd. To my horror, I ended up bumping into someone.

Looking up, I quickly tried to apologize, before I realized who I had bumped into.

Ken towered in front of me, a dangerous look in his eyes.

Surprisingly, when he opened his mouth, he spoke calmly.

"We need to talk."

"Uh..." Before I could even respond, Ken had latched onto my wrist and stormed away, tugging me along with him.

"W-where are we going?" I asked, hating how I stuttered. I was trying to hide how nervous he was making me.

"Somewhere where we can have some privacy," he bit out.

Finally, he pulled me inside the kitchen, shutting the door behind me.

"What the hell was that back there?" he scowled at me.

"Wh-what?" I asked, utterly confused.

"You and Hyuk. The flirting." he growled.

"WHAT?!" What he was accusing me of was absolutely absurd.

"Oh come on. Do you think I'm blind? You two were all over each other."

I would have defended myself, but my jaw had fallen to the floor.

"You clearly don't have an ounce of self-respect, but you need to stay away from Hyuk. He's too innocent. He doesn't deserve to be played like that by you."

With that, I was broken from my trance.

Abruptly, I pulled my hand back and slapped him across the face. He stared at me with wide eyes as he clutched his cheek.

"How dare you! Hyuk is practically my little brother! I have absolutely zero interest in starting a relationship with him. I--I can't believe you would say such horrible things about me."

I tried storming past him, but before I could leave, Ken locked onto my arm, quickly pulling me into his chest, catching me completely off-guard.

Burying his face into my hair, he clutched me to him, and breathed in my scent. Softly, he mumbled, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I just get so crazy when I'm jealous."

Every word from his mouth added to the bittersweet ache that had planted itself in my chest.

This was Ken. This was the sweet, caring guy that I had grown feelings for. It had been so long since I had seen this side of him that I wanted nothing more than to embrace him. But I knew that I couldn't.

With the ache in my chest burning almost unbearably, I moved my numb arms in between us and pushed him away. He looked down at me, confused.

I spoke gently, as if that would remove some of the sting from my words. "Ken... you're not my boyfriend. You don't have any right to feel jealous."

His clear eyes darkened, and slowly he began walking toward me.

"Oh, I don't?"

Unconsciously, I started backing away from him. My back eventually met the edge of the counter, leaving me at the full mercy of Ken.

He crept closer to me, trapping me between his legs.

Stroking my bottom lip with his thumb, he rumbled, "Whether you admit it or not, you're mine, Y/n."

I'd be lying if I said that my heart didn't melt a little.

Staring deeply into my eyes, he began to lean into me.

His soft lips connected with mine for the briefest of moments before I pulled away.

"Ken, this is wrong. I can't do this to Ravi."

He moved away from me so quickly it was as if I had burned him.

Avoiding my eyes, he spoke gruffly, "Right. We should go back. Someone might come looking for us."

Once we had left the kitchen, Ken quickly disappeared into the crowd.

----

I tried to enjoy the rest of the party, but it was useless.

I couldn't stop thinking about Ken.

Nowadays it seemed as if I was always hurting him.

I hated it. I hated seeing the hurt in his eyes.

Things would be so much easier if I had never kissed him.

The funny thing was, I couldn't bring myself to regret it.

No one had ever made me feel as good as he did.

Not even Ravi.

Why was that?

Ravi was one of the kindest people I knew. He was hardworking and attentive. He was the sweetest boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. I admired and respected him a lot.

He was a great guy.

But he didn't make my heart race the way that Ken did.

Did I even love Ravi?

All of this thinking was making my head hurt.

And the loud music around me wasn't helping.

Right now, I just wanted to be alone so I could think clearly.

It was already pretty late, so I just decided to leave the party.

Navigating my way through the crowd, I tried to find Hongbin so I could wish him happy birthday before I left.

After pushing my way through some people, I spotted something that knocked the breath out of me.

From across the room, I was able to make out Ken and Hani, laughing together. She smiled up at him and linked her arm through his. An innocent enough gesture, but my eyes did not miss how snuggly she pressed her body against his. Ken only smiled at her, sliding his hand into hers.

I felt like I had been gutted.

As I looked at his smiling face, I wanted to be happy for him.

He deserved to be with a girl that didn't constantly reject him.

But watching the two of them hurt like hell.

It felt like someone had poured acid onto my heart.

I was quite positive that I had never experienced anything as painful as the realization that I had lost him.

As if it wasn't enough, in that exact moment, something caused Ken to look directly at me, right as my world was breaking.

His eyes seemed to widen, but I didn't stick around long enough to be sure. As soon as we made eye contact, I sprinted out of there.

Quickly, I slipped into the bathroom, where I could break apart in privacy.

Hey babes :D Sorry for keeping you guys waiting. Writer's block sucked the life out of me during this chapter (T-T) So relieved to finally have it done. Thanks for being so patient, loves <3