Our Chances

One

Like any other freshman in college, I didn't want to go to college yet.

Because I knew everything will be different. My friends, my life, would be so different from my high school. I understand that nothing lasts forever and that no one could ever turn back time, but if me and my class all decided to fail all subjects just to repeat the senior year and enjoy it, I would no doubt no longer study and just party all night and sleep all day.

But no. That didn't happen.

Everything was packed and the car was ready outside.  My parents both decided on the previous night to give me a ride to New York for a decent farewell. It was a good idea, though, since I both love them and I couldn't thank them enough for granting me the school I really wanted to study in. It should be favorable that they came with me as I started a new chapter in my life alone.

I went downstairs and my siblings were waiting for me. No, they weren't coming. They were going to say their goodbyes to me and all. I cheerfully went to them and hugged them tight. This is one thing I knew I'd miss about home -- my siblings. Even though they were silly, I still love them.

"You gunna come back?" My 3-year-old sister started crying.

"Of course, I will. I'm just going to study and do all the stuff I need to finish studying the rest of my life," I cheered her. But no matter how much I tried on calming her, I just ended up crying, too, because I knew I would no longer witness the growth of our youngest.

"London, we have to leave now," my mother called from the outside. I gave my siblings this one last big hug as my goodbye. As I released them, I smiled to them. I then ran outside, felt like this is it, this is going to be another life. I knew that college would suck and I'm gonna miss home and family and friends and high school, but hey, I was just trying to be positive out of all that.

My father helped me settle all my things at the car's trunk. Just as we finished, I immediately checked my phone for any messages from my best friend Yoana who lived just a block next ours. But there wasn't anything. Maybe it was because of the past night. Everything went dramatic between the both of us that we were locked in each others' embrace and she still could not speculate that it was finally happening and she was totally upset and disappointed about what was happening. That I'm leaving the town. That we are going to part ways. 

Yoana, for that school year, would be a senior in high school by the way. Ever wonder why my best friend wasn't going to be a freshman for college like me? Simple. We are of the same age. We were born on the same year. It was just that after I took the entrance exam for high school, I was requested to immediately attend the tenth grade class instead of the ninth since they were very impressed in my intelligence and they believed that I should, in advance, move to the next grade.

It was good news. And bad. Because then, I could finish school earlier at a young age, but also because then, I won't be classmates with my best friend anymore.

But she was totally fine with it. She was even happy for me. Not until the night before I left Binghamton. 

Also, I remember that I couldn't even speculate that I was already in the car on my way to New York. To New York University. To college. To a new life. But before all that, to the Collins'.

"Dad, should we stop by Yoana's for a bit?" I was in the back seat, talking to my dad but looking on my phone.

"Well, I bet we should," he said as he fastened his seat belt.

So the engine started and the car was moving. He didn't need to drive that far to reach Yoana's home. When we arrived, we saw her mother trimming the plants in their front yard. She stopped and waved at my mom and dad and called her husband, like, she already knew that the car was the Clark's.

As usual, my parents would go out of the car and have friendly hugs with Yoana's parents. My parents would ask where Yoana is and then Mrs. Collins will call her. She would come out of the house and that would be my cue. I would go out of the car and we would run to each other and hug. 

But that didn't happen. Instead, I was the one who went out of the car in the first place. I was the one who give Mr. and Mrs. Collins a friendly hug. I was the one who asked where Yoana was. I was the one to talk to her parents about being a freshman in college while waiting for Yoana.

Supposedly, I should have went in their house and barge in Yoana's room because I really wanted to talk with her privately. But instead, she came out of their house, and the running-to-each-other-and-hug thing still happened after all.

After the hug, she finally spoke. "So, today's your first day?"

"How many times have I told you about that?" I said, fed up. Fed up, but laughed.

"A couple times. You know, sometimes, people have the capacity to forget things," she laughed back. "But yeah, I do know that today is your first day. I just haven't thought of anything to start a conversation."

"I'm really sorry, Yo," I told her. "There are really things that you thought wouldn't happen but eventually would."

"I understand, Lo. I spent my time trying to accept things instead of sleeping." She laughed, but with pain included. (It's funny, about how we call each other, like if you combine our nicknames for each other, it'd form YOLO.)

"You didn't sleep?" I was shocked, because I never thought she was that devastated about my departure.

"Like, duh. Who cares?" She didn't. But I did.

"Yo, I do," I became serious. "Look, I have to leave now."

"What? We just talked!" Yoana started to get pissed.

"That's why I came. To have a little but meaningful last conversation with you before I leave. Our next personal conversation would be like, a year from now. I couldn't stand that."

"I don't even find it meaningful at all," she frowned. "Stay, London."

"Can't," I frowned, as well. 

"I understand."

"So."

"So." There was awkward silence until she hugged me one last time. I hugged her tight and she said, "I'll miss you."

"More than anything. I'd miss you, too," I press my cheeks on her shoulder.

"You'll never find any best friend like me there," she said.

"I know." I had to break the hug because I had to leave. I didn't want to, but I had to. I walked away to the car and never took the chance to wave at her because if I did, I must have sobbed. I couldn't, in front of her parents. In front of my parents. 

I went in the car and my parents waved goodbye to them. The car went on, and just like that, I'm in another life.