Disney Characters In Therapy

CAST—

ELSA, PETER PAN, GENIE, , LUKE SKYWALKER, CINDERELLA, DRIZELLA, DR. DISNEY, MALEFICENT, SLEEPING BEAUTY, ANNA.

DOCTOR DISNEY: EVERYBODY, WELCOME TO OUR NEW SUPPORT GROUP. We'RE HERE TO EXPRESS OUR FELLINGS I'M DR. DISNEY AND HERE TO HELP YOU. ELSA, WILL YOU START?

ELSA: HI. I'M QUEEN ELSA OF ARENDELLE AND (SOB) I LOST MY SISTER (SOB). . .

SLEEPING BEAUTY: THAT'S AWFUL!

PETER PAN: WHAT HAPPENED?

ELSA: SHE RAN (SOB) OFF WITH. . . WITH KRISTOFF (SOB) TO PARIS TO GET MARRIED! AND EVERYONE'S JUST TELLING ME TO LET IT GO. (SOB) AND, NOT ONLY DID I LOSE MY ICE POWERS BECAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING, (SOB) . . .

OLAF MELTED! (HOLDS UP ZIP-LOC BAG FILLED WITH WATER AND A CARROT) FOR THE FIST TIME IN FOREVER, I FINALLY UNDERSTAND, SHE DOES'NT WANT ME! WE USED TO BE BEST BUDDIES. BUT NOW WE'RE NOT.

DOCTOR DISNEY: ITS OK. ITS OK. PETER PAN?

PAN: EVER SINCE THE GOVERNMENT FOUND OUT THAT NEVERLAND WAS JUST AN ISLAND OFF THE COAST OF MADAGSCAR AND THAT FAIRIES WERE JUST A RARE BUTTERFLY SPECIES, I HAD TO GROW UP AND PAY TAXES AND GET A JOB AT CAPTAIN H's.

GENIE: I HEARD THAT THEY'RE CROCODILE NUGGETS ARE REALLY GOOD.

PAN: (SNIFFLE) AND THE LOST BOYS. THEY (SOB)

DR DISNEY: WHAT IS IT, PETER?

PAN: THE LOST BOYS WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL!

DR D: EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT

GENIE: HEY. I'M GENIE.

EVERYONE: HI GENIE.

GENIE: I'M FROM SAUDI ARABIA, JUST SO YOUKNOW AND I LIVE IN A LAMP SO DOES ANYONE KNOW A GOOD CHROPRACTOR? (EVERYONE PAUSES AND CONDIDERS THIS)

EVER SINCE MY PAL. . . ALADDIN. I CALLED HIM "AL". WHEN HE MARRIED (SAYS LIKE SOME SORTA DISEASE) JASMINE. I SET THEM UP, YA KNOW! I BECAME A THIRD WHEEL. HE JUST DITCHED ME. HE ACTS LIKE HE'S NOT GETTING MY TEXTS AND, WELL, (CRIES) HE'S NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME! I SHOWED HIM A WHOLE NEW WORLD AND WE HAD SO MANY GREAT ARABIAN NIGHTS! (SOBS)

DR D: HOW TERRIBLE! WE'RE HERE FOR YOU. NEXT?

LUKE: I AM JEDI LUKE SKYWALKER. I'M A PRETTY RECENT MEMBER OF THE DISNEY FAMILY BECAUSE DISNEY BOUGHT LUCASFILMS AND THE RIGHTS TO STAR WARS. GENIE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ALADDIN. THE FORCE IS STRONG IN MY FAMILY. I HAVE IT. MY FATHER HAS IT. MY SISTER HAS IT. (LOOKS AROUND) WE ARE ALL FAMILY (STARTS TO GET EMOTIONAL). WE'VE GOT THE FORCE!

(AWKWARD SILENCE)

DRIZELLA: THAT'S DEEP, MAN.

LUKE: DOCTER DISNEY, LIKE GENIE, I'M A THIRD WHEEL. MY SISTER, LEIA, AND MY FRIEND HAN, HAN SOLO, STARTED GOING OUT AND ITS BEEN REAL AWKWARD WHENEVER WE ALL GO TO JABBA'S TO SEE A MOVIE OR GO TO RACE LAND-SPEEDERS ON TATOOINE. I THINK MY FRIEND CHEWIE FEELS THE SAME WAY. . .

DR D: THANK YOU, LUKE. CINDERLLA,WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I THOUGHT YOU WENT AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH THE PRINCE.

DRIZELLA: (MUTTERS) I'LL SAY!

CINDY: WELL, WHEN I MARRIED PRINCE CHARMING—HE'S REALLY QUITE CHARMING—

DRIZELA: (DISGUSTED) OH! EVERYONE FEELS OH SO SORRY FOR POOR LITTLE CINDERELLA. BUT DO I GET ANY SYMPATHY? NO! NONE! JUST BECAUSE SHE WEARS A SIZE

4 ½ SHOE AND HAS "NATRUALLY'' BLONDE HAIR. SHE GETS TO GO SING ABOUT DREAMS WITH THE MICE AND LIL' BIRDIES! ANOTHER THING,---

MALEFACENT: UMM WHO ARE YOU?