Hey my name is Zoe I hate my life because I feel nothing I'm that girl who is depressed and has anxiety feels nothing only the punching I do on a wall and cutting myself because I'm worthless but one day that change a bit this new girl come to school she sit next to me in English she said hi my name is Ruby I replied hey my name is Zoe and she was beautiful like much beautiful then a rose me and her started to talk more and one day she told me what she loved she said I love twenty one pilots and Shane Dawson I loved her more so we kept on talking in school out of school then it was summer six weeks of fun because I spending it with her we are going to make a treehouse well we already built it it was in the forest the trees where beautiful the air was crisp but it was cold so me and ruby made hot chocolate and we was talking on my bed and she told me something that I didn't wanted to hear she said Zoe I'm in love with you and will you be my girlfriend I froze on the spot I was just shocked I said no then she started to cry I didn't leave her I let her cry on my shoulder I was saying to my self you fucked up you broken her heart so she was In a ball in my bed I felt bad so I cut myself because I deserve it she got up and saw me she ran and throw the razor away and held my arm where I cut myself and kiss my cheek I felt weird because she just did that no one has never cared about me for ages and I hugged her tight and crying on her shoulder blood dripping down my arm blood on her hand I wanted someone in my life like her and we clean up and when in my bed and watch some Films she laying on my shoulder she fell asleep so I got up and started dinner and I was thinking to myself do you want her because she wants you so I said yes we will be together so dinner was ready I give her dinner in bed because she was cold so I put on a smile when in my room and gave her dinner we was talking then I turned off the TV and said ruby you want a girlfriend yeah? Ruby said yeah you I said well I'll be your girlfriend she kiss my on the lips hard I love it because it was from her and she was wearing red lipstick she said I'm never going to forget this day me too I said so I turn the TV back on and watch Friday the 13th she was on my shoulder I hugged her close and kissed her and said I love you she went red and said I love you too we carry on watching the film and she fell asleep so I when in there bathroom and just cut myself because I didn't care anymore I did that then I when outside and looked at the trees,moon and stars blood dripping down my arm it was beautiful I cleaned myself up and went to bed the next day I had something in mind so she was still asleep I make breakfast eggs,bacon she fucking loves bacon I gave her the plate and she was eating he breakfast in bed I was on the balcony with my tea and breakfast I was thinking what we will do today she wants to take pictures of stuff so I thought that I'll take pictures of her in the forest so we will spend the day in the forest I got up and got her plate and told her to put something warm on she said why babe I said because we are spreading a day in the forest and I'm taking pictures of my beautiful girlfriend she jumps up and down on are bed and I when to put the plates away she comes up and hugs me from behind and kisses my neck and says I fucking love you babe I turn around and she looks adorable so we are ready to have take pictures we get out of the door and she's in front and I'm talking pictures of her and we go in the woods fuck me it was beautiful I just couldn't believe it I held her hand and we walked through the trees it was autumn so we saw yellow red leaves I loved it now it was night we got back to the treehouse and got in are night clothes so shots and a big t shirt so we got in bed and we are hugging and watching Scream we watched all four then we turn off the TV then just had kissing and hugging she it I love it her lips are like a pillow because they where soft then we when to sleep I woke up at 5:00 in the morning I just caught the sunrise it was beautiful like her I was lucky to have her in my arms I kiss her head and she woke up and kissed me back and hug me and snugged up against me and said I love you I said I love you too we fell asleep then we woke up at 10:00AM fuck me I was tired she was too so we stayed in bed watching horror films and hugging and kissing and we when on the balcony to look at the trees it was beautiful the sun just shining through that was her eyes my eyes see a dark depressing forest anyway I love staying in bed because we get to do nothing I wanted to cut myself right now but ruby is kissing my arm because that's where I cut myself and there is so many and I felt a tear going down my arm it felt like the blood when its dripping and she was just crying I asked why you crying babe she said nothing for like five minutes then she said because you keep on cutting yourself and it hurts me and my heart I pulled her in closer to me she turns around so she's looking at me she said I know you are depressed and lonely but you have someone in your heart who loves you with all her heart that someone is me I don't want to lose you I felt a tear going down my face I said to her but you are the light to my depressed heart she just hugged and kiss me I got up and when in this black room we have this room to get your self together but I use it for my depression she follows me and sits with me on the floor I just was saying to her that I'm not good for you and she said I'm good for you and I just kiss her and she kiss me back I just felt so lonely and loved I grab her hand and run to bed with her we when under the covers and just kissing and hugging it was fun everything with her is fun but if she's not there I know it won't be fun she's like my smile I love her so fucking much but I don't think she feels that but I think she knows that I love her I love her more than my depression I just want to die but she's keeping me alive I get up and run a bath for me I give her a kiss and I got in the bath I saw the razor just laying there with my blood on it from last night I just couldn't stop looking at it I just wanted to cut myself really bad fuck it I grab and just started to cutting myself my blood turning the water red a bit and I started to think about ruby so I stopped and just crying in the bath I wash myself then I get out and I looked in the mirror and there's a piece of shit called Zoe Dhall but she has a girlfriend call Ruby Dun I got changed and opened the door and I see her laying on the bed I just thought damn she's hot then I just said someone looking hot I got in bed and we just was making out I just couldn't stop I just couldn't I wanted to touch her so bed but I grabbed her leg and then I bite her lips then she stopped and said babe don't that turns me on I said good I carried on it was night so we was good and I just put my hands on her body and kept on biting her lips and neck she grad my body really tight it felt amazing knowing that she love this I love biting my lips and her lips because hers her soft and sweet I just love her so god damn much that one day I'll marry her I hope she says yes don't think about that because you will just overthink everything so I bite her lips really hard she just grab my body and the covers then I stopped she said what are you doing you are tuning me on I said wait I'm just doing something then I when over ruby so I was on top I rip her t shirt off so she was just in her shots and bra then I stopped and said we will continue tomorrow night she didn't like that so I just bite her lips more until she forgive me after that I went in the bathroom and cut myself more and more and more but on my vain because I wanted to then I saw her laying in bed in her bra and underwear she said I'm ready Mrs.Dhall I got in bed and I forgot to clean myself up so there was blood on her on are bed she got up and said baby stop fucking hurting your self she just broke down in tears and just she her coved in blood I felt like shit so I when in the bathroom grab the razor and I when in front of her and cut myself I don't know what I was thinking she just was crying so I said I'll put the fucking razor to my neck she said no don't I don't want to lose my depressed beautiful woman I love you baby I dropped the razor and picked her up and hugged her tight I know my arm was hurting but I needed to hug her I told her I was really sorry I was kissing her a lot and she looked at me and said I love you Mrs.Dhall don't leave me I hugged her tight and I said Mrs.Dun I'll never leave you baby I just held her she just a girl in her underwear and bra I go my favourite jacket and put it over her because she was cold and hugging her more and I made her a bath because I love her I made her a princess bath that's where the lights are off and just candles so i helped her in the bath and told her I'm sorry I kiss her lips and I was biting them then I closed the door and let her clean up I was at the dinner table with candles I made her favourite she came out and I told her I'm at the dinner table she came to me and she looked beautiful she had her dark red lipstick on she just looked stunning I got up and pulled her chair out for her she sat down and said thanks baby then I sat in my chair I was eating I just couldn't stop looking at her she couldn't stop looking at me I wanted her in bed so we finish up we left the plates in the sink and she takes my hand takes me into are bedroom and pushes me to the wall and starts to kiss me and bite my lips and neck and puts my hand up go I can't do anything she pushes me on to the bed and kissing me she couldn't stop like me then i felt a warm hand go up my t shirt and it felt like heaven I got my hand I put that on her warm soft body and she stops and just looking at me then she takes everything off and says I'm ready then I take everything off and i grid on her I was biting her everywhere and tomorrow is her birthday she'll love what I have planned tomorrow because we live in England her favourite but she loves in place the most.
