Starting this because I just realized that I can't really go and talk to anybody else. I'm literally all alone haha, things were better before. Where people were always with you, everyone always kept up with you, everyone was happy.
Now welcome to high school. Everyone is too busy to even say "hello" in the halls.
I miss talking to my best friends. Talking about the usual teenage drama that has happened in the day.
I miss having a family who would ask you how you are doing and how school was going.
Throughout the days, I've been breaking apart. I'm getting to a point where I don't see what's wrong with going back to self harm.
I'm depressed.
I'm alone.
I fell into a really deep hole and I really don't know how to bring myself back up.
My hearts all over the place, my mind is taking me else where, and my smile is too busy being fake.
Do you realize that if I died now, the sun would still shine.
The stars would still be bright.
The moon will still appear.
Everyone will continue moving.
My death wouldn't affect anybody. at all.
I don't even think people will notice.
It's difficult when you're trying to tell someone about the amazing day you have had and them not caring or obviously not paying attention.
Or when you're sad and they aren't there to ask if you're okay. but you are always there for them. no matter what.
I always have to be there for people. I can't think of a time where they have returned that. No one is supportive.
Not even my own family. No one understands how hard I actually have it.
I just want someone who cares to be in my life.
Then I go off and think about what reason I actual have to live.
I'm not good in school, I don't talk to anyone, I am so useless in this world.
I'm honestly nothing but a big disappointment.
11/7/16
