If I'm honest

What has happened to me?

What a weighted question well
I've been in many failed relationships.
The past few ones have only been abusive.
Skylar was the first to lay hands on me.
He hurt me physically time and time again. I can still feel his hands around my throat, and his words blaring into my ears.
Then Mike. He was such a blessing for a while. He was amazing, and almost perfect even. At least I thought he was. He cheated on me with my best friend, and manipulated me into thinking it was ok. He used me for anything and everything he so desired. Then he abandoned me in my time of ultimate need. I was sick, in the hospital, and honestly should have died. But he fell for another girl and stopped caring. He fell out of love, and destroyed me. He did so much, and he still is haunting me to this day.

These people haunt me everyday. Like a shadow I cannot seem to avoid them.
I'm running
But I can't seem to escape.
I'm starting to think that maybe I'm nothing
Maybe all of Skylar's harsh words were true. Maybe I am worthless. Maybe I am just used for enjoyment by everyone, or support because no one else will. I don't feel anything good anymore. I just want to be happy, and make him happy, but he doesn't seem happy...