If I'm honest

So

I'm pretty sure I'm getting dumped today. Super bummed about it. I had a panic attack for the first time in a week today, and he didn't even respond to try and help. It hurts so bad.
I didn't sleep well at all last night. The plus side is that my mom bought me breakfast and these cute crayola gummies. Ish the Halloween candy bag that has sour rainbow belts, sour gummy worms, and gummy bears. ^^ She also got me a coffee, which would be my third I think cup in 24 hours. My heart is racing, because I kept drinking stuff with caffeine. I really hope he doesn't leave me today(ever). I don't think I could take it. No guy has ever been so sweet to me, it scares me that he didn't message back. What if his friend convinced him that he should break up with me? Oh my gosh I'm so scared. I love him more than life itself. Why am I like this? Am I crazy? Who am I? What's going on? Why am I so edgy? Is there someone else? Maybe he should be with whoever that is, I can't compete. I'm ugly, my teeth aren't straight or perfectly white, I'm super fat, my hair is gross, and the only thing guys notice about me are my boobs. Yes, they're big, but I have a personality, I think. I make a lot of people laugh... I'm fading in and out of little space, I'm sorry y'all. It's hard to stay strong and act like a grown up when you're stressed. I wanna be a kindergartener again. Well, not really, just to be treated like one. Ugh. Life sucks. I'm sorry I'm acting so edgy and immature. This is all cringy. I'm sorry. :')