∽Dove To Thee∽

∽Chapter 4∽

It's been weeks since I've seen her again. I couldn't force myself anymore heartache than what I already felt that day I saw her with that man. it's weird buying felt as I was cheated on. yes she cheated on me. breaking the very barrier of our invisible relationship. She stole my heart and now she broke it. To my dismay I haven't been the same. I find myself dreaming that she would come crawling back to me in the persuit of forgiveness. But nether the less I I only wake to know that it was my fantasy a dream fantasy and it would remain so... a dream. I turned to painting until I realize she was the muse of that. though I did establish already I forgot through my heartache. This woman this beautiful woman this incredible human being has most definitely infatuated my soul.And as I think back to the beginning. I remember how she did it. with a simple sheepish wave of morning salutation. That always run through my mind. though I try to force myself to stop. because clearly she is marked as another man's territory and I am nothing but a trespassor.

I look out the window. something I dared myself to do this morning's eve. I am nothing but a night hawk. I've always been that way. I see nothing but the moon pooling over the street.giving the street it's own spotlight as shadow's of moving tree's dance from the grace of the wind. I sigh and slowly pull away from the window. I walk to my bathroom and upon entry I don't cut on the light. I prefer walking into a bathroom with the light's off. there's of course there are reason's Behind this obligatory behavior. I like myself better with the light's off. It helps me from looking at myself. I will admit that the reason I omit mirror's and reflections is because of my disease. it's more of a disorder. But may as well be called a disease because there's no cure. I'm stuck being this blotchy monster. I look at the shadow of the lightswitch. I stare at it as if it was my enemy and I'm ready for battle. but alast I want to end this war of light and me. I cut the light on and quickly turn to the wall. Michael just turn... just turn and look!, I slowly slip off my white v-neck .Then slowly turned around, eye's still squeezed shut. 2...2..3 look, I slowly open my eye's. And I stood there for a minute and looked at the man that stood in the reflection before me. The man I saw.. was a man that not only was broken emotionally but now physically.Evey inch of my body was either blotched or broken. with the mix of ivory and mocha brown. I lift up my hand's slowly and looked at them. why me? ,I know they say God makes no mistake's and I believe that to be so. But I can't help to think that I might be that one Godly mistake. No you aren't, Yes I am!, I said aloud to no one. I look at the Mirror again. No I'm... I'm not a mistake, I said touching the Mirror. I smile at myself. then looked for my shirt and slipped it back on.Then walked back into my room and slippe into my bed. I am no mistake..

To Be Continued...