I shouldn't keep such expectations high...
I drove back home, and when I got home there was nothing but ashes where my home used to be, and I had to move elsewhere...
Monday - Realization
I couldn't sleep, and I just stared at the ceiling just thinking about how fast time was going and what it meant for me, but I only grew more restless as I thought about it more and more, and the clock kept turning and turning, as the night passed more and more, I couldn't take this, so I stood up and went to the bathroom to help take care of my ever-growing anxiety, I stared at myself in the mirror, a short 5'4 figure, with long hair that covered my right eye, my skin color as white as can be, and I stared at my left arm, then stared at my right, and thought about why, why everything had to be so different with me. I counted the fingers on my right hand, just five all right, nothing to wrong about that, now onto my next hand, just about six? I counted again to make sure, and I was dumbfounded. I washed my face and did my business and when I finished I went back to bed, and I stared at the time, 2:05AM. I tried falling asleep again, I turned my pillow around on multiple occasions to get more comfortable, but that didn't work. I tried reading something, but Celebrity was the only book I had on my desolate shelf right across my bed to the right, and when I tried to read that book, I couldn't understand what was happening with the main character and his aspirations, but I realized he didn't have any. I lay in my bed once more, in my blue pajamas, starting to think about what I heard on the radio just before sleep, "In approximately ----" damn radio had to lose signal at this very moment, "days, the meteor, named MEGA by astronomers worldwide, is destined for earth, we recommend that you enjoy yourselves and prepare for the worst, that will be all, please be careful folks." I thought about how this little message could intervene with my sleep, but that wasn't the only thing intervening as eventually I heard the door knock, and I went to go open it, when I did I saw someone I didn't expect, "Danada Smith it's me, your mother. I'm alive, Danada! I'm alive, I'm a lie..." a woman told me as she came closer to hug me, I didn't recognize her, but surely she must have recognized me from somewhere, "You're new here, right?" she asked me and I nodded, "Yeah, I thought so, and what are you doing right now?" she looked up at me, "Well, I've been having a hard time trying to sleep, probably because of what I heard on the radio." She sniffed me, "Oh, so you've heard about MEGA too? Actually, I'm having trouble sleeping too because of the same reason," she whispered something to herself, "definitely not trying to get to know you more because you're so cute," I couldn't catch what she said, but I let her in anyways, "You have any bath salts? That's the stuff we'd both need right now, especially with that meteor," I went to the bathroom and found some, I grabbed one and headed back out to give it to her, "Oh, thanks!" she smiled at me, I blushed. "So, how's life been treating you?" she asked me as she sat on a little plastic chair that I sat on to eat most of my meals, "It's alright, I mean right now, it's not so bright because of the meteor, but there's nothing that's going to stop me from my everyday routine, what about you? How's life treating you?" she stood up and walked around my room, looking at photos of my parents, different papers on the floor and shelves, she picked one and skimmed through it, "Are these, stories?" I didn't know what they were, probably something to keep me focused on creativity, rather than negativity, "Well? What are they?" she skimmed through another paper, "Just something I do to pass the time," she looked up at me, "They're pretty good," I thanked her and asked her the question again, she stopped skimming, clutched the paper she was holding, and dropped herself onto the floor, letting the paper go flying outside. I approached her as she covered her face with her arms and legs; I slowly opened her arms and legs to reveal her keening face, "Why are things so hard?" she bewailed as she held me tightly, "He was the best, he was always there for me when there was no one else, and what does he do? He leaves me for someone else, a bigger bust and a bigger butt is what he always wants, he used me for his own benefits, and when he was done, he left, but why can't he take a bigger brain? Why does he care about looks? I thought it was the inside that counts..." her tears started to run down onto my face and she held my face very close to her own, "I guess, that's how most men are, barbaric creatures that see women as objects they can use whenever they see fit, and once they've had enough, they leave for another, it's a fucked up world we live in, where we can't just love someone for who they are, but this "love" is based around whether that person is attractive or not," I told her softly, and she looked up at me, "Are you classified as one of them?" I patted her head slowly, "No," she seemed to have settled down near my arms, I admired her, even if we've met, but I was grateful to have a girl, any girl, by my side, because the only female I've had any connections with are with my mother. Her snores replaced her tears, and my fears were replaced with warmth, she slept while I too was starting to get sleepy myself. The calm nature of the night was quickly replaced by the gunshots from above, and it startled both of us, "I should've done this to you much earlier, Janet!" A few more gunshots filled the air, but it soon stopped, the girl held onto me tightly, yet still slept through this, she talked to herself in her sleep, "I love you, Lyadde." The poor girl, I didn't want her to sleep standing up, so I carefully stood up and picked her up and placed her on my bed, it wasn't a really large bed, but she had gone through enough today, she might as well sleep in a comfy bed. I didn't realize how ungrateful I was for my bed until tonight.
