The only time I truly saw her loose control was when she was close to death.
Her face dropped all emotion for about five seconds before she lost it. She let out an earth shattering scream and launched her fist into the mirror she had been facing. Shattering on impact the mirror shards created pools of blood on her hand, dripping down the length of her pale arm, dyeing the cusps of her t-shirt sleeve.
She kept her hand against the cracked frame, ragged breaths escaping her small hunched form. Slowly bringing her hands to cover her eyes the weight of the situation brought the girl to her knees. Glass pieces cut through her jeans into her skin but she didn't seem to notice.
"Oh god... o-oh god." She stammered through her tears. I stood back a distance knowing it didn't matter what I said, this girl just figured out she was dying. That information would make anyone loose it. It just shocked me to my core that it affected her like this. This girl hadn't cried in her life. Ever. Not even when she was born, I would know I was there. She could express love, joy, serenity, hope, gratitude, kindness in any situation. I hadn't even thought any negative emotion resided in this girls soul. Today I was proven wrong.
She wallowed in her sadness, shaking to her very core. The blood of her hands mixed with her tears creating gash looking streaks that tumbled down her face.
"N-n-no no n-no no!" She moaned rocking back and forth. Blood seeped from her jeans leaking onto the gray carpeted floor.
"Aaaaahhhhhahahaha!" Raising herself to sit up on her knees she wailed to the sky pulling her bloodied fist back to slam it into the wall again and again. She threw herself into it. Shoulders wrenching back only to be thrown forward in her anger. Her good hand flailing around to keep her somewhat balanced. A red stain made it's mark; growing bigger and bigger with each hit as even more blood gushed from her hand. It trickled down the wall in an uneven pattern, splattering with each impact. Her auburn hair flew around her body wildly tangling with her limbs and mixing with blood. Once she was done giving the wall a beat down, she placed her ugly destroyed hand on it and laid her weight upon the bloodied surface. Quick breaths escaped her. She whimpered "I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss it. How can I help if I miss it?"
I didn't understand. Miss what? Her life? An event? No, I thought. She wasn't one to think about trifling things like that. I scrunched my face in concentration asking myself what was something that would devastate her if she missed it? Think like her. Think of how her soul looks. What was it, what was it?
"James I'm so sorry. So sorry. I'm going to miss it." Oh. A lightbulb went off in my head. Oh course it wasn't her life she was going to miss. It was James's. She was upset not because she was going to die, but because she was not going to be there to support him for the rest of his. I knew in this moment I was in the presence of a truly self sacrificing woman.
Some people have certain opportunities in their life where they can say they have been generous, some people have others who will say something along those lines at their funeral. However this girl, this insignificant human in my long list had somehow become someone I doubted I would ever forget. So faithful, so selfless, devoted, affectionate and tender. This human changed something in me, and for the first time in my existence I didn't want to take this soul away. Nevertheless I had a job, plus she'd be happier once she was out of this filthy world.
I walked up to her and took her by the shoulder, turning her around to lean against the wall. As soon as I touched her her glossy gray eyes became sharp as they focused on my form for the first and last time.
"Hello Ms.Abigale. I am here to take you home." I called to her soul. It brightened when it heard my deep voice, but her eyes just expressed more grief instead of the peacefulness that was usually on a humans face at this point.
"I don't want to miss it." She uttered.
I sighed, "Tell you what, if you take my hand I can make sure you are happier than you've ever been." And I meant it, I wanted this girl to have it all and more. There would never be a more kindred soul ever to grace this earth. These humans had no idea they were so close to a ethereal being like Abigale Hart. And that's what she truly was, ethereal. Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world and in a way was too perfect. That was the only reason I could comprehend that could explain why her soul had to be taken so early in her life. Not even 30 years old.
Abigale shook her head staring into my eyes making me feel bare and open before her. "N-no, no it doesn't matter if I'm happier. I can't leave my little brother. I-I can't leave James alone." She declared with certainty. I blew out a frustrated breath, how on earth was I going to make her come with me. I opened my mouth to make another argument but she cut me off saying "Promise me."
"Promise you what?" I questioned warily. Making a promise with an angel was like winning the lottery; almost impossible to accomplish but not unheard of. And it was risky for the angel to because once done I couldn't break it if I tried.... which come to think of it is the way Abigale works as well. My faced slackened in my realization. Making a promise to Abigale Hart was almost unheard of. For as long as I've been watching over this girl she had taken promises seriously. Never just using them in everyday language like normal humans. No this girl guarded that word like it was her first born. She only made promises she knew that she could keep and even if she did trust you, you would almost never get a promise from her. But right now without even knowing who I was she was trying to make a promise; her last promise.
With this new enlightenment I listened to her next words carefully. She used her good hand and brought me close to her, turning her mouth up to my ear and voiced her deepest wish.
"Keep him safe. Keep him from those who would hurt him. Keep him from sadness and dissatisfaction. Let him know only the goodness of this life and let him know his sister will never abandon him." I wrapped my arms around the young woman reaching deep, searching for that beautiful soul of hers. I complied with her request upon feeling the warmth of her soul.
"I promise."
