Dear, Schatz

To Schatz

Your smiles that flutter my heart, Schatz. It's beautiful, your big hands that suit my lil' ones, as we sway it back and forth as the sun rays hits our faces with such joviality.

Schatz, I love you so much.

But that happiness I'd felt from you is like paper, paper that is so thin, fragile and weak. Happiness that is snatched from me, from another. Happiness that was torn apart easily. Happiness that didn't last long enough for life time.

Paper..

Paper that is now drench with salted water coming endlessly from my eyes. I let it dissolved to the quiet ocean, written letter left unread.

I watched the water eat my happiness.

As I watch you from afar with your new girl, your new source of energy, and light.

Your silhouette wasn't enough, 'cause it's dark as my days.

I need your light, Schatz. No matter what I say I don't need you. You're no significance. That I'm finely good without you.

But it's just a play I screen for people.

Fooling them I'm strong. That it's bearable to lost the half of My Heart.

And fooling myself.

My act isn't enough to really erase everything. I can't continue fooling myself, playing I do. Would I lie if I told you now, I've moved on?

I wish feelings, care, and eyes have switches.

Feelings, so I won't feel anything for you anymore. Care, that I've always have for you no matter happens exists. Eyes, that saw the deepest of your soul, eyes that saw the love you have once for me, but now for another, eyes that used to stare at your sleeping face.

I'm wasn't benumbed, Schatz. And I wished nor you are.

How can you even avoid the thoughts? While those thoughts massively damage my mentality.

Schatz, why can't you see it?

If you think I've inject anesthesia for be numb as you are, I didn't. Hence, even I inject hundreds it won't work.

Mending, healing, curing.

I'm working. 'Cause that's what I need, I don't need artificial accessory for the mean. I need a long risk. Risk that will mend my heart and soul. Risk to open my heart again. Risk, to move on, to let go.

I can't foothold forever the paper we shared.

Now that you're recently taken. Sign I need to stop my follies, sign I can't love you anymore, sign I'm no jem to you, sign you don't love me anymore.

How can you easily move on?

Did you even loved me? 'Cause I'd downright loved you that I'm unable to braked. You're so sly, Schatz. Very sly. That I didn't notice the subtleness.

Too clever, but too fool to let me go.

How much I want you to regret, and comeback to me. Schatz, I'm damned to my mixed feelings.  I couldn't understand it. It's not that I don't want you to be happy, but I  can bear to see you with her too.

Maybe, we waste everything that we share and keep for ourselves. But that's it.

I guess it's an error we find luck. Error where we meet, and fall head over heels. You may think it as a mistake, fallacy meeting me. I'll let you think what you want, but it's otherwise for me Schatz. 'Cause in short period of time I've been so happy with you, why would I classify that as a wrong doing?

I won't repent I knew you and loved you.

We separate ways, have different mindset, and have new inspiration. But both same continuously living. Staying unaffected mutually.    Focusing to priorities and goals. Maybe I failed to see we're growing up, maturing and starting to have own lives.

Btw, I have good news too.

If you have a Juliet, I have Romeo eventually. Time comes for me to try to love someone else except you, Schatz. It wouldn't hurt right? Hence, you look incredibly okay with your Juliet, better than with me. So I've decided to open doors for people whose I'd never heed.

Schatz, I'm not your Juliet so was you're not My Romeo, we're not on some cliché love story that I think we does.

I accepted the de facto, so I'll definitely move on, so far? Nuh, don't worry I'll make it up. You successfully done it, then me too!

I assure you this time I'm not into acting.

Schatz, you know I know you believe I'm strong, well.. I do! And now being brave here so be proud, would you? Haha.  Be proud to your Schatz, facing the odds. It's not an easy game you know. Thus it's my first time.

Let's have a deal,

If I win, then I can be happy for you and the girl. And if I lost, it's my fault whatsoever, or more over I won't ever make it up like you do. But yeah whatever, the deal is on!

So this is goodbye?

Schatz thank you for everything, those memories we made so unforgettable, thank you for making me felt so loved, thank you for caring in those moments, thank you for cheering me up when I want to give up, and thank you for being there for me. And let's leave it there too, 'cause I can't bring this up to my new path I can't look back anymore, you can't too. 'Cause our line is up. And we're for the new line.

I may be not your Schatz anymore, but I can swear this would be the last. Gratuity all this to me, Schatz. Being called yours for the last time for life time.

Schatz, I love you forever, and always to the moon and back.

Till pain tear me apart.

Your Schatz,
Gabrielle Kiene Lopez