[Mind Over Matter]
By: Amanda
|| There she goes,
She goes back,
Turns around,
She doesn't see me anymore,
But,
That's because she's with him,
She's with him,
After all our shared nights,
The times I'd sneak into her room,
The room of my best friend's little sister,
Her room,
My safe haven,
I'd cuddle with her,
Kiss her forehead,
Tell he I loved her,
After I'd been out with my girlfriend of two years,
Then tell the girl,
"This is our little secret."
She'd oblige,
She'd listen,
While I told her my problems,
The worries that held me down,
Every night a new weight was lifted from me,
Mere exchanges shaped molded my heart,
And a feeling took root there,
It was called love,
But that doesn't matter now,
See, she's with him,
Not me,
I watch her run into his waiting arms,
I wonder to myself,
How did I get on without you?
How was I before you?
Was I half the man I am today,
Or was I a pitiful boy,
Using a girl that was all but willing,
Willing to help a lost cause,
I watch them some more,
They're happy,
So...
So happy,
It makes my heart wrench,
I feel like crying,
My throats choked with threatening tears,
She catches my eye,
It's over,
Her eyes flash concern,
She steps away from her boyfriend,
And over to me,
"Are you okay?"
A question asked in vain,
I try to conjure words,
Find my fleeing voice,
But I just can't,
I stare at her and shake my head,
She stares,
Returning my blank stare,
This is how it is now,
She shrugs,
Offering a small smile,
A hopeful smile,
Waving me off,
Turning to walk,
No,
I grab her elbow,
I have to know,
I need to ask,
"Is he better than me?"
"Who?"
I jerk my head,
"Him."
And she laughs,
And laughs,
Laughing,
At me,
"This is funny?!"
"Yes."
She laughs once more,
"You're an idiot, you know."
An idiot? An IDIOT?!
"That's my cousin, he's visiting from Iowa."
Your mind will tell you,
What your heart fears most ||
