capri holds my eyes in her frozen palm, her red cat nails digging into pink, flesh skin. she smiles sharply, teeth whiter than the glazed snow freshly fallen on dead grass.
i am terrified.
of this pale wasteland that is getting colder by the second. of her cheeks and hands like an actual fucking meth addict.
and how her blue veins pop, pop, pop. ready to burst.
she is so draining, so washed away.
tired.
on drugs that aren't there. needles pierced skin that have not broken the surface. white crushed powder that has not been smashed by her shaky hands.
goosebumps and red toes that haven't been cut and shiver from the snowflakes that haven't fallen.
"capri, you are this close to disappearing," i say one night, her red embedded marks on my wrist and purple bruises on my shoulder.
and she laughs, "that's what i would hope, my dear!"
and just like spring flowers blooming, frost melting, she is numbing, bone by muscle by organ.
"i am so tired of this weather, i would be blessed to have yellow daisies bloom on my decaying body."
