This story is about me , i will be using diffrent names and places . But every thing in this story happend to me at one point.
At the time i was born my mom was 16 . Thats why i was always with my grandpa and grandma . They took care of me. my mom couldn't even take care off herself . She was 16 ,quit school before graduation. All she had was this smal job at "videoland" . What about my dad? He lives in a diffrent country and i have never met him .
I grew older and all i wished for was a family that loves each other . I didnt want to be a princes or a dancer .
I am 14 now and i still want to be happy , but i am not . I dont like my school and my school doesnt like me. I have 2 bestfriends .one of them lives in an other country and the other i can only see once or twice a year . I can talk to them but sometimes all i need is a hug . I want people to love me . I think a lot about why people are so mean . I try my best to be nice but its just so hard.
Like i said this story is about me and I have fears of everything . And panic attacks are also involved . I have fears of being left alone . Or walk in the dark . Fears of losing friends . The only thing i dont fear is death . Why? I actually wouldnt mind if i died . If it is for a good purpose then i would even love to die . Also My family doesnt like me at all . They think i am a problem child . And everything is always my fault , those black clothes ? Ohh dont worry, just a phase . They dont support me at all . Like i said , everything is my fault . I have always felt lonely because if my mom . She hates me , like it's my fault that she was too late for abortion .
Every day i try .
Try to be nice
Try to look happy
Try to be kind
Try to smile
At night i cry
Cry because im alone
Cry because people hate me
Cry because life is hard
But after all this time of crying and fake smiling i learned something .
Life is hard. Life wil not get easy at a point . But with the right people who will help you , life can be a bit easier . I want to thank my best fren AJ for that .
Thanks for everything you have done for me . For every word you have said to calm me . For every day of watching me suffer and doing something about it . Thank you for singing songs with me to make my day a bit brighter .
It doesn't matter where you are . A part of you will always be in my heart ❤️
Stay alive |-/
Stay street |-/
