Christmas is such a depressing time. I cant halp but remember the past even more now. I feel like im all alone since no one knows my secrets. But then again im glad they dont know they would only pity and make fun of me. And that is something i dont want to happen. I hate pity its so stupid no one understands how i feel about it and no one realizes that i am in need of help. Even though would never admit needing help. I do need help. I so desperetly need it. But i dont want it. I mean i do but i dont, its like walking through the desert and needing water but when you come acrost a man who offers you water you say you dont want it.
My family is somewhat ignoring me. Me being the baby of the family really help put me on the outside. I often wonder if i had sibling younger than me maybe my cousins would get along with me, or atleast try to. Everything is changing and im struggeling to see if its for the better or the worst.
I wish i could just not be here anymore. I wish i were the stars and that i was more important to people. I wish that i was the earth or the moon or the water or the sky. So that i could just be strong and set or floating and free. Yes i wish to be free. Free of my problems. Free of my dreams no nightmares. Free of time. Free of eberything.
I guess what im saying is that I just want to escape, but i know i cannot escape my problems so for now i am just setting them aside untill they pop back up and i have to face them. Maybe someday i can escape my pain, pride, and fears. But untill then i will suffer and wallow in my own pain.
Some times i just want life to go back to the way it was when i was innocent and full of ignorance. That is where i truely wish to be.
YOU ARE READING
Darkness
PoetryThis book is going to consist of my ramblings and ideas so if you like to read things that might not make sense then read this. This is also going to have some of my confessions and my dark thoughts. Also I'm doing this because my Counceler recommen...
