Transporter Accidents

Adjusting

Life as "new parents" was hard! Especially since we had been thrown into this situation with nothing but our wits to sustain us. Which was wearing very thin.
The child was quite independent according to Phlox. Considering that she had only been alive a mere two weeks. Phlox determined her development age at 13 months. She could crawl but walking alone was still a difficulty. She was able to get around if holding onto someone or something, if it could hold her upright. T'pol helped as ordered however whenever she was around the child she seemed distant. I think she just does it around me , making sure I don't see her go soft. The kid now has two front teeth piercing through gum just above the two bottom ones, which I'm told from her not stop crying, is painful. We'd been given a numbing agent to ease the pain but it didn't seem to quite her.
"End personal log"

                            *********
" Come on, it's got to be working now. The agent was put on ages ago. Please for me, please just stop crying, I'll pay you, anything. Anything you want, please?" Commander Tucker pleaded with the screaming child, waving all sorts of toys and stuffed animals at her. Frantically bouncing her in attempt to quiet her , he pick up the many padds that had been downloaded with information on babies and toddlers , he searched for a method, anything! 
*bleep bleep*
" Come in" Trip shouted.
" What's wrong with the child?" T'pol asked.
" The numbing agents , doesn't work or doesn't work enough, she won't stop, Help! Please!" Trip pleaded like a child asking to say up after his bedtime with his adorable puppy eyes.
She reluctantly took the child. Now that the commander was free he let his body collapse into a chair.
She walked around back and forth to quiet the child. It worked and the child was asleep in 3.6 minutes. " It wasn't so difficult" She stated.
" Was that a hint of pride?" He remarked
" No , I was just stating a fact"
" I think she likes you more, she seems to like to torture me with her screaming " He commented. She looked away.
" Any mention of a bond with her, you lock me out, lock her out, why is that?" He inquired.
" I ...I just don't like children." She said hiding her face from him.
" T'pol... I know you , don't lie to me, every time you look at her, you look so pained, your eyes water, what's wrong?" He said seriously.
" you..you wouldn't understand " she said her emotion getting the better of her, trying desperately to hold her tears back whilst placing the baby in a crib. Damn it! She was Vulcan, this shouldn't happen to her.
" Try me?" He replied sincerely.
She sat down and took a deep breath, debating whether she should tell her crew mate and friend of what was troubling her.
He came closer to her, kneeled in front of her.
And stared up at her watery eyes.
She wanted to turn away but she couldn't. It wasn't that she didn't trust him because she did completely and utterly, but speaking the words, telling him emotional things when it wasn't "Vulcan" to express theses things was harder than anything she'd done before.
" I've had a child before" she said in a broken and quiet voice.
" What?" He asked
" I was younger, naive, curious and most of all reckless. I didn't think of what could happen , I just went " she said sadly.
" Weren't we all." He said, now kneeling closer than ever before. " You can trust me, it's okay, just take your time " He said in a soft, caring tone.
" It happened, when I was in San Francisco, when I was first stationed there. I was curious of Humans and so I made a plan to sneak out, I was barely an adult. I waited until everyone was either mediating or asleep and I snook out. I just walked around until I heard a strange kind of music, I believe it's called Jazz. I followed the sound and it lead me to a bar.
I didn't think of its inhabitants or who could see me I just when in and took a seat, listen to the music for a while until a man came over and sat with me , he talked and brought me drinks and as you humans say, one thing lead to anyone. We had intercourse, after many many drinks, that I misinterpreted that they would not affect me but they did.
When I woke up the next morning i was in a strange bed in a hotel with a note saying " had fun last night" left by the human I couldn't remember.
He had paid for the room and left. So I did too, I went back to the compound and carried on as normal. It wasn't until I had my annual check up that I was told that I was pregnant, that's when I had to tell my superiors about the encounter. The doctors we're concerned because the child was half human. But the pregnancy was going well... for awhile." She took a deep breath.
" It's okay if you don't want to say anything more, I'll understand." Trip said reassuringly as he wiped the trails of tears streaking T'pol's checks. " No , I should tell you" she said taking a another long breath.
" It was time for my weekly scan, I would have been 3 months, everything was okay, I found out the sex, My son was healthy." She stopped at the painful memory. She breathed slowly. " Then a week later, I woke up with extreme pain in my abdomen and I just knew. I pulled the covers of my bed and there was just blood everywhere. But not just green but red blood. I was rushed to hospital.. they did everything Vulcan, Human and anything they could think of. But it wasn't enough, He was born 2 pounds 1 ounce. I named him name Delvok, it means will of memory. I remember I just sobbed. My whole body was shaking, holding this tiny being that would never see the sun, the sky and I would never see him open his eyes." She cried.
" T'pol.. I'm so sorry, I never knew " Trip said with tears threatening to escape.
" It's okay, it was a long time ago, I made my peace with it." She said drying her tears.
She stood up and walked over to the cot in the middle of the room and peered in.
" I just look at her and I see his little face and I can't... I can't lose her like I lost him." She said emotionally.
He came next to her and peered in.
" We won't lose her , you have something you didn't have last time."
" And what's that" she inquired.
" Me plus Phlox and a whole crew of support"
He said.
It was now extremely late and she had an early shift in the morning .
" I must go to my quarters now , I'll come and get her in the morning" she turned and headed towards the door.
She paused at the door.
" Thanks Charles."
She only ever called him Charles when she was being affectionate.