No Good News

~1~

"Don't hold your breath; I'm not going to beg."
"You think that now. You've only been here 4 days, Mae. You will break."
"Never, Devin."
     The door creaked and slammed to a shut behind him. Once again, I was alone. It was cold and the air was damp. The only light in the room was a lamp with a fluorescent bulb that wouldn't stop flickering, as if someone intentionally unscrewed it the tiniest bit to make it flash. That was really likely. I'm sure Devin had spread the word of my epilepsy and planned to use it against me during my stay here.
     The zipties keeping me trapped dug into my wrists and I was almost positive they had drawn blood by the sticky liquid I felt pooling in my palms. I knew that it would be over so quickly if I gave in. They would probably even let me go. . . But I couldn't do it. It would go against everything that Ben had died for.
     I pushed my back against the concrete wall and tried to push the image of his lifeless eyes out of my mind as I drifted in and out of a restless sleep.

-  -  -  -  -

"Up, Mae!" A harsh kick to my left hip followed his words. My eyes shot open and found the face of the one who woke me.
"What now, Devin?"
"You know what." He cut the tie behind my back and my hands fell limp at my sides. 
     With the minimal amount of food and water I was being given, I was surprised I was even conscious. I knew I wasn't strong enough to stand, causing me to dread what was going to happen next.
     He lifted me carefully and supported me easily. He carried me up a stairwell and through a hall. My head fell against his chest and I didn't have the energy to pull away from him. I almost didn't want to. This was the side of him that I wanted to remember. Even with all the bad that had happened between us... all of the horrific moments, I knew who he was on the inside, truly.
     As we crossed the threshold into the room that held his bed, I felt his chest rise and fall with an empty sigh. He laid me gently on the bed and I let my eyes close. I tried to drift away. Let my thoughts carry me miles from here, but he made it difficult. I felt my pants slide down my hips and eventually fall to the floor. I wished I were able to fight back. I felt the cool steel meet my inner thigh and I began to choke back tears.
"Just tell me what I want to hear, Mae. You know I don't want to do this." The desperation seeped from his voice.   
     I felt a tear fall as I turned my head and shut my eyes tight, preparing.
"Dammit, Mae! You make me do this!" And with that, the blade was inside of me. I lost count how many times it twisted inside of me as I fell in and out of consciousness.

-  -  -  -  -

I awoke in a bath, smelling of lavender and vanilla.  Somehow my body managed to become even weaker as the blood from my new wounds poured from my body. He meant to kill me this way. Bleeding me out and keeping me weak until my body could no longer function. How could I still harbor love for this man? I cried out and met the darkness of sleep once again.