In memory of the love i failed to confess

(EXO's Lay fanfic)

A/N: Advanced sorry for the grammar and spelling and other stuff.. i didn't have any time to check it anymore.. Anyways, hope you guys like it!!!

" Im near our clubhouse already Lay! where are you?" Kirsten said while talking to her best friend, Lay on the phone. They had agreed on seeing each other today in their usual meeting place- their clubhouse- and Kirsten was just too excited and nervous to wait.

"Im almost there, just wait a little longer.." Lay answered.

"Well hurry up! i have something to tell you" Kirsten was finally going to confess to Lay about her real feelings for him. It had started a year ago when she finally realized that Lay wasn't just like a best friend to her, but she had different feelings for him too, she liked him... alot. And she tried her best to hide it since she didnt want things to go all awkward for them. But today she had finally decided. Lay had to know her true feelings... At first she was afraid of what he would say about it. She was afraid that he wouldn't accept her feelings, or worst.. their perfect friendship would be lost. But she couldnt keep it any longer. She wanted him to know, no matter what happens..

"Im doing the best i can Kristenieee! And besides i also have to show you something..."

"Show me something??"

Suddenly Kirsten heard a sound of a car horn through the phone. It was loud and it sounded like it was coming nearer, then boom! There was a loud crash and faint screams from people. Her heart beat sped fast.

"LAY?!" There was no answer. The line went busy, and her mind was blank. She thought of nothing else but Lay, and how she needed to go to him.

Kirsten's POV

i was beside Lay holding his hand. He was lying down on a hospital bed being rolled to the operating room. I tried my best not to notice my hands full of blood. I should have never rushed him, all of this is my fault, i should've never... i couldn't hold back my tears.

"Lay im sorry, i should have never rushed you!"

"Hey! its not your fault okay?! Dont you ever think that its your fault! Im gonna be fine, don't worry..." He said. And somehow I found hope again.

weeks later...

I sat on my bed crying my eyes out for the hundreth time, ever since that day. I miss him, I miss him so so so much. But he left me. He's gone. Im never gonna see him, gonna hear him.. My day wont ever be complete again because of the lost of the sight of his smile and those dimples. Why did he go, why did he have to leave me...

I haven't been eating properly. I was lucky since it was summer so I had no excuse to not leave my room. I never went out of the house since everyone and everything just reminded me of him. Even just staying here, isolated in my room i think of him. Everything about him, and how i never got the chance to tell him my feelings. How i liked him, and wanted to be with him everyday for the rest of my life, even if we just remained friends... that was enough for me. But even that I wouldn't have. Because he was gone.

I stared at the ceiling trying to forget about everything and just make my mind blank, but i couldn't it was too difficult. Because everytime i would close my eyes the sight of him was all i saw. Those moments of us being together, laughing and joking around, cuddling and being playful, talking and sharing our feelings, even those memories of us having small and immature quarrels. Then my thoughts shifted to our memories in our clubhouse. those times when we would watch movies on cold rainy days, or play board games or our epic pillow fights. And those magical moments when I would listen to him playing the piano. How much his music means to him... and how he could say a thousand words with just a simple push of random keys that did wonders. I remembered how he would give me piano lessons but i was just so hard to teach...