I Couldn't Tell

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I was going to have to face Charlie sometimes. I stood in a hall far from the lunch room, and Charlie. I watched the end of the hall, to expect Charlie to pop up and come this way. I need to know what Dylan was even here for. Was it to talk to Charlie? My heart began racing as I saw Charlie pop up and walk his way to my direction. Why won't he let this sort of thing slide? I don't want to have to do something I'm not ready for. 

I looked away trying not to look at him, keeping my breathing steady. He already close, "What did Dylan want?" I began.

He sighed and walked in front of me. I looked up into his eyes as he crossed his arms. He shrugged, "He said he wanted to talk to you. He thought I'd help him at that because he knows that you and I were close. He expected me to have have known that you both were together and had trouble."

I gripped the ends of my shirt and looked down. I became shakey. Why did Dylan want to talk to me? Was it because he wanted another chance?

"It's been a year and six months. What makes him decide it's okay to try and make things work again?"

"It's not about that anymore. It's about how, why didn't you tell me; that you were gay?"

I was about to open my mouth, then, "There you are!" Me and Charlie's head turned and there was Ashley coming towards Charlie. "Why aren't you guys at lunch?" She  got ahold of Charlie arm and hugged it.

Charlie looked at me, "We were just talking." He had this annoyed face. I smiled up at him. Thank you Ashley for interrupting.

"Oh! I'm sorry, but you need to come eat boo." She cupped Charlie's face and brought him down to kiss him.

Having this up close made my heart die inside, the feeling felt like death. I want to just run away. This reminded me on why I can't tell Charlie my true feelings. I could never tell him, I needed a way out. "I-I'll talk to you after school, I guess." I began to start walking down the hall.

"Jeydon, wait!" I heard Charlie call.

I just kept walking, which felt like it took forever. Before I could actually go to the lunch room, the bell rang. This led, where I had my last class with Charlie. Shit. I have to read my paper out loud.

"Alright, Charlie you're up." Mr. Zyp said as he was writing something down at his desk. He kind of looked like the guy from the poetry class in the movie, Teenage Douchebag. 

When Charlie went up there, the first thing he looked at was me. I began to feel myself heat up and look away. "His name is Jeydon Synner, he became the only thing that stayed by my side the most. He can be aggressive, and have his own way to mouth things. He tried too hard to be strong, that it makes him afraid. I wouldn't judge him, because I wouldn't want to risk losing him. It's been two years, and not once did he try and walk away; neither will I. There's rarely moments he could be sweet at all, he's the one with the insults; which makes me laugh sometimes. He's a nice person though, and random to be around with. I could be around him, without getting himself butthurt so easily. And - well, I want to stop there." He looked at Mr. Zyp.

"Why won't you go on?" He looked at him. Charlie walked over to him and showed him the other lines. "Oh, alright." He whispered to Charlie, "Don't put something in there that you might not read next time."

Charlie whispered back at him something  couldn't hear. The class began to talk and some giggled. Did Charlie mess up on his paper?

Charlie went to go sit down, "Alright," Mr. Zyp began as everyone started packing their stuff up, "We'll continue with Taylor's, Corey's and Jeydon's on Monday. You guy's have a good weekend." Then that's when the bell rang.

I didn't want to get up and leave. I didn't want a weekend, I just wish time stopped right now and I could run, or rewind and made sure Dylan talked to me instead of him, or made him go away. I was still sitting at my seat as half the class already went out the door.

"You going to stay here all weekend?" I looked up, and there was Charlie. He was looking down at me with an eyebrow up.

I sighed then stood up and started packing up my thing, "Maybe I felt like it, but now you killed the moment."

He sighed, "It shouldn't be that hard to tell me your reason, Jeydon."

I shook my head and started heading towards the entrance, and quickly down the hall. I still felt Charlie's presence close. He was going to have to take me home, this is going to be a long ride home.

Me and him just got in his truck and drove off. "You going to tell me now?"

I shook my head, looking out the window, "You know that I'm gay. Could we just forget it? I never thought you were a homophobic."

Could tell he was starting to get mad, "Then why couldn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want things to be awkward between me and you."

"You should know me better than that, Jeydon."

"Could we please just drop it?" I raised my voice.

He sighed, "If I tell you something, will you tell me?"

I looked at him, "What?"

"I broke up with Ashley."

My eyes widen and I felt my nervous feeling, "Huh?" I began to nervous laugh, "You're just trying to find something to make me spill the beans, aren't you? Nice try, Charlie."

He shook his head and looked at me when we stopped at a red light, "No, I'm serious. When you left me and Ashley alone in the hall, I broke up with her."

My eyebrows narrowed, "Why?"

He smirked and looked back at the road, "Tell me why you couldn't tell me why you weren't gay, then I'll tell you why I broke up with her."

I groaned and punched his shoulder, "That's not a good plan!"

He groaned and rubbed his arm, "Not again!" He laughed. 

I smiled at him, I don't mind not knowing why he dumped Ashley. At the same time, I do. Felix even knew that Charlie and her wouldn't last, because Charlie had been looking at someone else a lot? Is he going to go for the other person? Thinking about him going to another girl made me feel weak again. This is why I couldn't tell him, he might find out that I'm in love with him later on. He'll end up feeling awkward and in discomfort and leave me behind.

"Jeydon? What are you thinking about?"

"Huh? Oh." I shook my head and stared forward at the road. "Nothing." We were close to my house, we were in the neighborhood.

"Do you mind if I come over to your house?" He asked.

I bit my lip and sighed. "I'll see what my parents will say."