When there were you and I ~ a 707/Luciel/Saeyoung x MC story

Chapter 26

He sighed and walked over to his bags. He had to start at some point. At least she was out of the zone and was back. If she reverted, he knew what medicine would make her come back. But he had to be careful. Back then he'd almost raped her. He wanted to. He wanted to devour her. And just might've as well. She'd wanted more. Of course she wanted more. Where most girls would kick and scream, she'd ask for more That's not fair! She's been through worse. Gah! His own mind was against him. He began to open his bags and connect wires to the newer equipment he'd bought.

Sarah/ Vini

The water felt good. Not as good as his kisses. But good enough to make your body feel better. You just had to do it by yourself. You berated yourself. And now he knows knew. He knew how much you needed him. Maybe he'll change his mind when we find Saeran. In the back of your mind you knew he will. Benefit of the doubt? Really? Here-on, you decided, no more holding back. He had secrets too. He held back before too. You had no right to do the same anymore. Not after you'd both come this far. You turned off the taps and dried yourself, clothing yourself in your shorts and a tshirt. You left your towel out to dry and stretched again, feeling the sting against your skin. You walked back into the cabin and placed a pot on the stove. Porridge would do for now. And coffee. "Head's up!", you look up but not in time- Bam! "What the hell?!", you shouted falling back, rubbing your head. "Aaahahah! I thought you'd catch it.. Hehehee", you heard Saeyoung say. As you looked at what hit you it was a can of Dr. Pepper. "Yea thanks" you muttered as you scrambled to get back up. "I've got some department store food too. So don't cook anything for today." He said, not looking away from his computer. You could see he was coding again. He was getting back to work. "Thank you.. again..", you muttered the last part, before turning off the gas stove and scooting over to the bags he'd gestured. You opened them up and started segregating them into which expired first, and which would last longer. Your eyes traveled to the very inviting yellow packet of chips.

After you'd done putting everything aside, and eating a rice dumpling, you opened your can of soda and the Honey-Budha chips. After the first bite, you knew why Yousung and Saeyoung raged over it. It was delicious! Salty, and sweet. Just the perfect texture. You couldn't help but moan a little. It had been a while since you binged and now felt a good time as any. You hadn't noticed someone glaring at you. You had another one and this time you noticed a turn of his head. You quickly got up and brought over a bowl, filling the chips into it completely, and walking over to his work desk. There wasn't any space to place the bowl of chips for him there, so you just leaned into the side of the chair he was seated on and placed it on your lap. You looked at the files strewn across the table, licking your finger absentmindedly. When he didn't look over at you, you decided he needed space, and got up to move away. "No... stay.. ", he said, looking unsettled, grabbing at your wrist. You moved back into where you were. "It's .. well I don't know how to explain it.. I can concentrate better with you here, rather than when you're.. not", he added, his ears turning slightly red, letting go of your arm. "Let me know what you need. I'm not going anywhere anymore.", you said boldly. That seemed to calm him down. His one hand would occasionally come up to grab some chips, or some juice. And the only other sound was of the tapping of the keyboard. You looked over some of the files he would hand you occasionally. The names didn't seem familiar. Suddenly, a picture flashed on the screen. You knew that face. It was older now but you knew who it was.. It shook you so much you stood up and doubled back. "Who.. is that?", you asked Saeyoung. He looked over at you and back at the screen. "He's associated to Mint Eye. His name is Ray Hing. Why? What's wrong?", he asked concerned. His fingers typed slower and he kept glancing at the code on one of the other screens. You slowly moved back to him,

"Sorry it just startled me. I know that face. He's the one who'd bring in the drugs to the agency. I thought.. I thought I'd burnt him in the fire.". you said slowly. "He survived, I see.", you muttered, grabbing the back of the chair with one hand, the other one closing tightly into a fist. "I'd like to tell you some other stuff.. not relevant really. Just wanted to share-", and the next thing you knew you were in his lap. He'd grabbed you and placed you square in his lap, legs over the side of the chair, your back on the other arm. "Go on." "And why am I trapped like this?", you asked, surprised and also embarrassed. "Because I think you may run off half way through and I won't be able to chase you with this particularly hard piece of code", he replied gruffly. "Tell me.. everything.. and anything.. I want to hold you. And this is the only way I can right now."

You took a deep breath and began. "My first memory is this awful feeling of guilt. Rika'd just told me that you and Saeran had died in the gas explosion. She said it was my fault, because I'd refused to do something. Accept her, or join her or some trash. There was fire everywhere. And blood. The next thing I remember is wanting for everything to end, and walking into traffic." You looked back up at Saeyoung's face. He gasped. "You tried to kill yourself?", he asked. "Yea, I think I wanted to die. I thought the people most important to me were all gone. So then I might as well.. join them.. Anyway, then we both know a bit of the rest. The hospital, the doctor and the agency." You took a deep breath. This was the hardest part. This could change how he saw you. "During the rescue and evacuation I found some other children. A few I'd known but had never seen again. I already knew that some of the children wouldn't survive because of the drugs. Because they were already kind of dead. They couldn't see, hear or feel. It was the effect of the last batch of drugs. I realized the patrons must've administered them too quickly, leaving all the kids, broken. They were only being kept alive by ventilators. Just bodies. They were all long gone. So I... I disconnected them.. all. I killed them all before I set the place on fire. I.." you stopped, gulping down, holding yourself, arms across your chest. You feel the shivers coming. "I lied before. When we went swimming. I locked the worst patrons in the same ward after I'd killed the kids. I wanted them to die, watching their bodies. But I don't think they did. Nothing was ever reported in the news. I wasn't thinking straight. But even now, I don't know if I'd have done anything differently. I need you to know that. I was—am a killer."

You couldn't look up at him. You didn't want to. His fingers didn't cease typing. "Were you ever raped?", he asked. It took you aback. You knew he'd have questions but still...
"No."
"Did anyone ever sexually molest or abuse you?"
"Not exactly"
"How exactly were you prepared for sexual favours?" You wanted to stop feeling so weak. You hated talking about this part too. But you wanted to tell him. "They tied me up, and made me watch pornos. Made me practice the sounds I'd have to make. Dialogues. Things like 'not there. You're so big.. ooh'. Everything you would see. They made me watch adult videos, hentai, everything. No one wanted to actually hurt me, because the 'authentic virgin experience' just couldn't be trained. Then they.. they also got.. toys..", you said, whispering the last part. "Not the stuff on tv. Feathers, vibrators. They showed me how I could use them, in case.. in case I wasn't getting wet. No one ever actually touched me sexually. There were exams, like when I got my first period. They.. they stopped them. From coming again."
"They.. sterilised you?", you could hear it in his voice,now. The part where he would run.

"Temporarily. Sometimes clients want girls who're on their period. But it did change my body's.. chemistry a bit. I don't get turned on that often. Or maybe too much at a time. I had Doc take a look at me and he fixed it. Apparently there was something placed inside, to stop everything and at the same time prevent me from getting pregnant. Doc said that chances of having a family could be.. low.. But back then, I didn't even dream of that.. " Saeyoung shifted under you, and you felt his hand on you head, petting you. It felt..good. "Now.. I don't know. If it happens, it happens. I'm scared. I'm scared of wanting a child, and then not being able to have one. Of loving someone so unconditionally that you'd die for them, and then end up not being able to." You moved closer to his body. It was so warm. The t-shirt he wore smelled of flowers. But his scent was still there. "Everything I want can wait.", you mumbled, under your breath.

"How long can it wait?", he asked softly, almost whispering. "Until we find him. Save him. There's one more thing. When he was chasing me up the stairs, I told him. I told him he was being brainwashed. Either it was something they were giving him. Or something he was taking. Injecting. Drinking. So I'm hoping and praying that in his good senses, he actually realiszes something. It's a long shot. But still.." "Something's better than nothing huh?", he said. He tilted his head and looked down at you smiling. "Why are you smiling?" you asked. "I can see your very sexy cleavage", he replied smirking. You quickly looked down at your chest and gasped. He was right. In fact, the light from the computer screens were so harsh that you could see your very blue bra through your thing white t-shirt. "You ass!" you said, punching into his chest, lightly. You didn't want to hurt him. "Aww is that all you've got, sweety?", he said, giggling even more. You knew what to do in that instant.