Andomness-ray Ook-bay

Riddle Me This

Your house is trashed.
All of your dishes are dirty and have been sitting in the sink for weeks.
Half your laundry has soaked up hell's concoction of piss, milk, water, juice, and pet fluids, and is all over the floor by the washing machine.
The bathroom is a mess because not only are you potty training a toddler, but you also have a cat with a litter box in there, and a puppy that lives to play in the trash.
For a week and a half, you bust ass, through your period and a bad cold that made you ache to the point of not sleeping. The floor is picked up, and a quarter of your dishes are clean, the bathroom is picked up, by your hands, by your eyes, which are completely healthy as opposed to being partially blind without glasses.
You leave the house for the weekend to go see family that you only get to see twice a month. You don't get to do everything you wanted to, but it's time spent with those you love, so you're relaxed more than you have been in weeks.
The outside dog back home needs food, so your mother in law, who lives next door, asks if you have any food for him.
You tell her yes, but to leave everything else alone.
Later that evening, you receive a call: your water heater is leaking. You're expecting that she went inside and saw standing water.
You panic and pack to return home.
Upon arriving, your dishes are washed and put in the cupboards, your laundry is washed and piled on the dryer, and your bathroom has been bleached and scrubbed.
How do you react?

I'll tell you what I felt. When I said grab the dog food and leave everything else alone, that's what I expected when I get to the house: no dog food, and everything as I left it, excluding the leak. What I found was someone proud of the help she's given me. And I'm livid. I've been shaking for nearly twelve hours because of this "help."
I know that it's childish to be so pissed off. She helped me do in one day what would have taken me all week to do. But she broke my trust, and she insulted me. She told me, through her actions, that I wasn't capable enough to her to do what I said I would do. Regardless of how bad the house got, I was working on it. I was making progress. And she completely demeaned me by doing what I said not to do.
She's done this several times before. Every time, I've gotten pissed, and she's apologised and said she wouldn't hurt me again. And every time, she finds a chance to do it again.
That tells me that her word means nothing.
That tells me she thinks I need her to clean up after me.
Did I let it get that bad? Yes. This is my first place to be left to my own devices. I've never really had to clean up after myself in an entire house alone, much less after a cat, puppy, toddler, and grown man.
Was I making an effort to remedy my own situation, like a responsible adult, without asking my family for help because I should be the only one cleaning after myself? Yes.
Does that mean you go behind my back and do what you know has pissed me off EVERY TIME it's happened? No. It does not. By any means.
It's nice that you were trying to help. I appreciate it. But I'm going to go through and wash everything again. Myself. Childish? Yes. Spiteful? FUCK yes. But you broke my trust. You ignored what I've said to you in the past. And that in itself is wrong.
I told you weeks ago that you could help by babysitting my daughter. Obviously that wasn't enough. And my feelings clearly don't matter, because this was a nice surprise, and not undermining your promise at all.
Then there's the fact that every year, you have ants in your cupboards because your dishwashing involves a washcloth and not wearing your glasses. If they were merely reading glasses, that wouldn't be an issue, but I know you're half blind without them, so I know you can't see all the food and residue you're leaving behind.
Even worse, I have a system for my cupboards. Everything has its place, and you have no idea what that system is. But did you ask? No. You were doing me a favor, so it isn't an issue, right? Wrong.

Your word means nothing now, like mine apparently doesn't.

I don't need you to clean up after me.

I need to learn to do it myself.

I don't need you to tell me my house was a mess.

I was living in it. I know. And I was working to fix it.

You had no right, regardless of how helpful you thought you were being, to betray my trust and ignore my request.

You're not protecting me.

You're insulting and hurting me.

I'm not a child, and I was never yours to clean up after either.

I'm a young adult. I'm supposed to struggle to find my feet, my rhythm.  That's how it's supposed to work.

I don't need a nanny, I need to grow up.

And you need to fuck off.

Spiteful, lazy, childish as I am, you tell me if I'm completely wrong in my feelings.
You tell me if she was right in ignoring my words and feelings. Put me in my place if you wish. I'm hurt, I'm pissed, and I'm sick of this happening.